financially Responsible , Men and Budgets, Debt FreeFinancially Responsible Men Are Attractive

Being in the dating game often involves an endless sea of dates, some more memorable than others. But, when you are ready to settle down the things you look for in your potential soul mate are subject to change. After all, this is someone you plan to spend the rest of your life with, maybe even have children with. Financially responsible men  are very attractive to many women looking for Mr. Right.

Unfortunately women don’t always know what they are looking for. So for all you ladies out there here are a few things that signal you have a financially responsible man; and guys you can use these as a guide for getting your financial house in order. I assure you the ladies love a financially fit man!

Tell Us about your Debt

The first date is certainly not the time to reveal your financial skeletons, but if we are getting serious don’t keep it from us. Women are by nature planners and don’t like to be ambushed by say a $10,000 credit card bill you racked up before we met. Not only do we want to know about it, we want to know that you have a plan to pay it off.

This may include:

  • An aggressive personal debt re-payment plan.  This means paying more than the minimum payment each month, extra when you can, and a clearly defined   budget that you stick to. We’ll understand if an island vacation, expensive dinners, and gifts aren’t in the cards right now.
  • Debt consolidation.  Perhaps you join a  plan that consolidates all of your unsecured debts into one affordable payment. You took the initiative  and are aggressively working on your debt.
  • Debt settlement. Maybe you are in over your head due to a divorce or medical issue and racked up insurmountable debt and can’t afford to pay it back.  Debt Settlement is often more appealing than bankruptcy as it allows you to get back on your feet more quickly.

Have specific long-term goals

You have been out on a few dates, things are starting to get more serious and the conversation goes to the age old question, “Where do you see yourself in 10 years?” This question causes many men to give you the deer in the headlights look and a response of, “I really haven’t thought that far ahead.”

This is a total turnoff for many women looking for someone that is responsible, financially or otherwise. Goals are important, striving to achieve shows ambition.

Financially speaking it is important to set goals for yourself as well. For example:

  • I want to save enough money for a down payment on a house.
  • I want to have an emergency fund equivalent to 6 months salary.
  • I want to have my student loans paid off.
  • I want to start a retirement fund.

These are all responses that make women feel more secure; this guy has thought about his future and where he is headed.

Earning Potential is Important

We would like to say that it is not, but even in today’s society where women are thought to be equal we don’t want to support you. It is okay if we earn more, we just don’t want you sitting around the house doing nothing while we are out working. The stigma of having a man as the breadwinner still presents itself in many relationships.

This doesn’t mean that if your passion is teaching pre-school we won’t be attracted to you. Having a passion for your career and confidence is important to us.

The reason we are concerned with your earning potential has more to do with when the time comes to have a family we would like to have the option of at least one of us staying home even if it’s just for a little while with them.

We don’t Care if you keep Up with the Jones’s

Contrary to what you may think we don’t really care what kind of car you drive or that you’re renting an apartment. Now, if you are still living with mom and dad that may be a turnoff.

Here are a few turn-on’s:

  • A man that knows how to spend wisely.
  • Financial security; no debt, a job, and a savings account.
  • A budget.

The bottom line is that we want a man that knows what he wants out of life and has a plan for achieving it. Whether you make six figures or minimum wage we want assurance that you are a hard worker, make smart decisions when it comes to money and know how to treat us even if its flowers picked from the yard, a cheap bottle of wine, and a home cooked meal.

Ladies do you have ways to uncover your date’s financial situation and is it important to you?

Guys how do you show off your financial savvy?




Suzanne Cramer

Suzanne is a certified credit counselor and a Social Media Specialist for CareOne Debt Relief Services. Suzanne writes for Divorce, Debt and Finances and A Straight Talk on Debt. Follow Suzanne on Twitter @SuzanneCramer1 and @AskCareOne where she shares her insights on divorce and managing your finances.



  1. Beverly Davis

    April 16, 2012 at 12:45 am

    Great article Suzanne. Happy to see that you pointed out that most women aren’t concerned with a man’s material possesions, but with their knowledge of money and how to use it wisely. Yes, financially responsible men get extra points. Being honest about debt, having financial goals and great earning potential goes a long way…

  2. Suzanne Cramer

    April 16, 2012 at 12:10 pm

    @Beverly Davis Thanks! Yes money doesn’t make a man but how they appropriate it certainly does!

    • datingdiva61

      April 16, 2012 at 6:54 pm

      I agree!!! It all about self control and planning!

  3. Carrie Smith

    April 16, 2012 at 12:39 pm

    I definitely agree with this! I find a lot of men do the opposite of what you’re saying here, and it’s a complete turn-off. No woman wants to be with a man that has no idea of where he’s been or where he’s going. It’s a sign the man doesn’t look back on his life to use it as a guide to avoid future mistakes. A man who is financially responsible is definitely more attractive in my book!

    • datingdiva61

      April 16, 2012 at 6:56 pm

      I will have to agree with you! It does show that they are a man with a plan!

  4. elizabeth

    April 16, 2012 at 6:20 pm

    I will have to agree that a person that has their act together with their money is attractive whether they are a man or a woman. I need assistance sometimes not to go off the deep on with social things. Self discipline is the answer and to tell the truth about you owe.

  5. Anita

    April 17, 2012 at 9:20 am

    I think this is quite a wonderful topic to bring to the table. I think you are spot on and happy to know that your helping others through your words of wisdom :)

  6. Martha Giffen

    April 17, 2012 at 10:26 am

    If a man isn’t astute in the money department, he’s probably lacking in other areas too. It’s so important to have your money house in order. What you see on the outside is a reflection of the inside. Chances are, if his money is a mess, he is too!!

  7. Lisa Birnesser

    April 17, 2012 at 11:10 am

    Having been ambushed once, this is really an important topic. Money is such an important topic with couples. Being forthright about debt can prevent a potential breakup due to money in the future. Thanks, Suzanne!

    • datingdiva61

      April 23, 2012 at 12:42 am

      Yes.. it’s nice to know up front and wise to check!

  8. Elaine Shannon

    April 17, 2012 at 12:25 pm

    Great advice, even for someone in a committed relationship, these conversation are needed often.

  9. Solvita

    April 17, 2012 at 12:50 pm

    Great article. Financial issues are number one for problem for couples, no wonder women like financially responsible men, who can blame them. Women like security and unfortunately there is no way to live without money these days. Irresponsibility adds a lot of pain and relationships fall apart. Thank you! :)

    • datingdiva61

      April 23, 2012 at 12:41 am

      It really is.. and can rob you of joy!

  10. Joanne

    April 17, 2012 at 2:13 pm

    Great tips! Both men and women should be responsible for their finances. Being irresponsible with money causes lot of relationship problems.

  11. Brenda Lynn

    April 17, 2012 at 3:26 pm

    Great post! I am a Dave Ramsey disciple, so a financially responsible man would be very attractive and the exact opposite of the ex. I am working on getting my financial house in order since my divorce almost 2 yrs ago. It hasn’t been easy, but it is so worth being happy and free.


  12. Nisha

    April 17, 2012 at 6:37 pm

    What a great post! You’re so right – so many of us don’t care about material possessions, but we DO care about being with people who are smart with their money – big difference! Financial responsibility is sexy! :)

  13. Marie Leslie

    April 17, 2012 at 7:07 pm

    These are great points, and definitely something to consider and talk about with a potential partner in a serious relationship. These are things women should have in order as well. Very clear and straightforward explanations–there’s no doubt about what we need to know about money from this post.

    • datingdiva61

      April 23, 2012 at 12:44 am

      you have to know and you must find out!

  14. Roxi

    April 17, 2012 at 10:18 pm

    This is so true! It’s not like women are being gold diggers. These days it’s just smart to find out if your potential life partner is RESPONSIBLE with however much they have. I would say that men should be the same way about the women they’re getting serious with too. It could save a lot of heart break….

    • datingdiva61

      April 23, 2012 at 12:46 am

      no but it’s not okay to walk into financial disaster blind.

  15. elizabeth

    April 19, 2012 at 3:01 pm

    I love this post it’s dead on! You have to be Financially Responsible to be attractive as far as I’m concerned!

  16. Jason Cabler (@DrCabler)

    April 20, 2012 at 10:18 am

    If financially responsible men are more attractive, then my wife must think I’m freakin’ Brad Pitt! Yesssss!!!

  17. Brent Pittman

    April 21, 2012 at 1:06 pm

    One of the first times I met my wife, I chastised her for not using a coupon (the whole group had a coupon for the fast food place except her)- How romantic right? We’ll be married 5 years this summer, so it must have worked.

  18. Suzanne Jones

    July 9, 2012 at 10:02 pm

    Definitely a prerequisite for me. A man MUST be financially stable. I am not interested in supporting another child!

    • datingdiva61

      July 10, 2012 at 11:15 pm

      I think that it is too! That’s what kinda guy I found…!

    • datingdiva61

      July 10, 2012 at 11:23 pm

      lol@That.. well you know what you want.. most women are not!

  19. Sue

    July 10, 2012 at 12:03 am

    Being open and honest regarding finances is so important. Being with someone who is financially responsible is a blessing! Great post!

    • datingdiva61

      July 10, 2012 at 11:15 pm

      doesn’t it really help to be honest! I really think it does.


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