Recovering After a Break-Up


Recovering BreakUp

There’s a saying that has been doing the rounds for a long time. It goes; to get over one man get under another. Many a woman has tried it and many a woman has also failed in becoming a stronger, happier lad in the long run. There may be a grain of truth in the saying, in that it’s hard to think about your old guy when you’ve got a sexy new man on the go. Unfortunately, it’s rarely the case for women that the rebound guy is really what they were looking for. More often than not Miss Break-up gets with Mr. Right now simply to ease the pain of the broken heart. Of course you’ll have to get yourself a new man eventually but in the meantime take some time to yourself and make sure your heart is truly healed before hopping into bed with the next man.
First, take the time to think about what went wrong with your previous relationships and why they didn’t quite work out. Don’t dwell on the matter, just be aware of what wasn’t quite right so you know what to change next time around. If the break-up was all his fault, don’t beat yourself up about it; that’s his problem. If you recognise that you might have been part of the problem, accept your faults and start working on fixing them.

The next thing to remember is that you can’t be happy with someone else until you know how to be happy on your own. It’s a simple concept really; the more baggage you are carrying forward with you, the more problems you will come across in your new relationship. Give yourself some love; make a list of things that you like about yourself and then another about things that you would like to improve. Be positive, be happy, and get some confidence.

The next stage in recovering from a break up in order to start your new dating quest on a positive note is to surround yourself with good things and happy people. Sometimes your friends, family, and colleagues can be the direct cause of your unhappiness. Tell yourself that you do not have to put up with negative comments from anyone, get rid of ‘friends’ who don’t make you feel as good as you should and replace them with  a group who are happy to tell you how great you are, and who are happy to hit the town with you. Go out with the intention n having fun, not with the intention of pulling.

If all else fails retreat to your bed, eat chocolate, and watch Bridget Jones’ diary. It might make you feel better for a while but it’s definitely not the way to finding a new man. Find more tips at:


  1. says

    Great advice for somebody who has gone through a divorce; we first have to become 100% whole again to attrackt our partner, who also needs to be 100% whole; that is the only way a relationship works!! This was some “whole” advice!! Thanks

  2. says

    I absolutely agree that you can’t be happy with someone else until you are happy with yourself. Awareness of what went wrong is so key to making new decisions so that it can be different next time! Great post!

  3. says

    That’s great advice! Not only can a rebound be detrimental to you but it really isn’t fair to your rebound fella either. You need the time to learn what kind of eggs YOU like :-)

  4. says

    Great advice! I don’t believe at all in finding a replacement. I feel that looks desperate. Getting real and loving yourself is the answer but don’t take too long because you can get pretty comfortable in your own skin and not want anyone around!

  5. says

    So true in everything; you can’t be happy with others until you are happy with yourself. I honestly believe this is when you are open to finding true love…

  6. says

    Taking time to heal is one of the most important things that a person can do following a breakup. A lot of times, if that valuable time is skipped or neglected, it can lead to exponentially more problems, or grief can be passed onto another person.

  7. says

    Awesome post, Elizabeth. I think almost every woman has been guilty of this at one time or another. Myself included. Looking inside and accepting responsibility (if there is some to be had) is so important in the healing process…and for making sure you don’t make the same mistakes again. Thanks for sharing.

    • says

      My husband divorced right before he and I started dating.. I broke up with him for almost a year because I knew he wasn’t okay yet. I am so glad that he got the room to heal and we have started dating a year later and have been together til today.. 27 years later we are happily married!

  8. says

    Very good advice. I know people whose FB status is “in a relationship with John” on Friday, and by Monday it’s “In a relationship with Joe.” I’m thinking, “what?” . . . You’ve got to learn to be happy with yourself. And, I always feel sorry for the rebound guy, as you say, he’s never what you’re really looking for.

    • says

      i saw this and cringed.. married.. to singles to in a relationship with so and so in 2 weeks..? ahh huh? no way you are even divorced? LOL We lived in a different world these days.

  9. says

    Really nice post! will be sharing it o my wall, I am sure it will help a lot of them out there. I have had few breakups earlier and the mantra was to keep myself busy with work. Trust me if you will keep your mind preoccupied, it is the best thing you can do!

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