Recovering BreakUp

There’s a saying that has been doing the rounds for a long time. It goes; to get over one man get under another. Many a woman has tried it and many a woman has also failed in becoming a stronger, happier lad in the long run. There may be a grain of truth in the saying, in that it’s hard to think about your old guy when you’ve got a sexy new man on the go. Unfortunately, it’s rarely the case for women that the rebound guy is really what they were looking for. More often than not Miss Break-up gets with Mr. Right now simply to ease the pain of the broken heart. Of course you’ll have to get yourself a new man eventually but in the meantime take some time to yourself and make sure your heart is truly healed before hopping into bed with the next man.
First, take the time to think about what went wrong with your previous relationships and why they didn’t quite work out. Don’t dwell on the matter, just be aware of what wasn’t quite right so you know what to change next time around. If the break-up was all his fault, don’t beat yourself up about it; that’s his problem. If you recognise that you might have been part of the problem, accept your faults and start working on fixing them.

The next thing to remember is that you can’t be happy with someone else until you know how to be happy on your own. It’s a simple concept really; the more baggage you are carrying forward with you, the more problems you will come across in your new relationship. Give yourself some love; make a list of things that you like about yourself and then another about things that you would like to improve. Be positive, be happy, and get some confidence.

The next stage in recovering from a break up in order to start your new dating quest on a positive note is to surround yourself with good things and happy people. Sometimes your friends, family, and colleagues can be the direct cause of your unhappiness. Tell yourself that you do not have to put up with negative comments from anyone, get rid of ‘friends’ who don’t make you feel as good as you should and replace them with  a group who are happy to tell you how great you are, and who are happy to hit the town with you. Go out with the intention n having fun, not with the intention of pulling.

If all else fails retreat to your bed, eat chocolate, and watch Bridget Jones’ diary. It might make you feel better for a while but it’s definitely not the way to finding a new man. Find more tips at: http://www.chatboxuk.com


36 comments:

  1. Olga Hermans

    June 27, 2012 at 11:57 am

    Great advice for somebody who has gone through a divorce; we first have to become 100% whole again to attrackt our partner, who also needs to be 100% whole; that is the only way a relationship works!! This was some “whole” advice!! Thanks

    Reply
    • datingdiva61

      July 10, 2012 at 11:07 pm

      I know.. that is my biggest issue to help singles. Get happy and the love will come your way!

      Reply
  2. Sara Nickleberry

    June 27, 2012 at 12:52 pm

    Chocolate works for many things.. temporarily…lol. Thanks for your insightful post!

    Reply
    • datingdiva61

      July 10, 2012 at 11:07 pm

      lol chocolate is an awesome breakup help!

      Reply
  3. denny hagel

    June 27, 2012 at 2:19 pm

    Excellent article! I love your ideas and insights to help people move on from a bad break up…something most everyone can relate to! Thanks!

    Reply
    • datingdiva61

      July 10, 2012 at 11:08 pm

      thank you Denny.. that has to come first before you can move forward!

      Reply
  4. Sherie

    June 27, 2012 at 3:37 pm

    I absolutely agree that you can’t be happy with someone else until you are happy with yourself. Awareness of what went wrong is so key to making new decisions so that it can be different next time! Great post!

    Reply
    • datingdiva61

      July 10, 2012 at 11:09 pm

      thanks Sherie I know that you talk a great deal about this on your site!

      Reply
  5. Becky Fisher

    June 27, 2012 at 4:27 pm

    That’s great advice! Not only can a rebound be detrimental to you but it really isn’t fair to your rebound fella either. You need the time to learn what kind of eggs YOU like :-)

    Reply
    • datingdiva61

      July 10, 2012 at 11:09 pm

      Oh Becky yrue indeed that rebound person often gets as hurt as you were.. :(

      Reply
  6. Dr. Daisy Sutherland

    June 27, 2012 at 5:22 pm

    Great tips..I especially like the one where you should surround yourself with loved ones and of course chocolate always helps:)

    Reply
    • datingdiva61

      July 10, 2012 at 11:10 pm

      lol Yes again to Chocolate! surround yourself with supportive people!

      Reply
  7. Heather

    June 27, 2012 at 6:51 pm

    yes! Surround yourself with positivity! It’s so true that the people closest to you can be the ones keeping you down in the dumps.

    Reply
    • datingdiva61

      July 10, 2012 at 11:11 pm

      yes they do.. a breakup is tough and your family and friends are hurting for you!

      Reply
  8. Mandy Edwards

    June 27, 2012 at 9:30 pm

    Good post! I’ve known of several women who had to start over and it’s hard to watch them! I will pass these articles along!

    Reply
    • datingdiva61

      July 10, 2012 at 11:12 pm

      Thanks Mandy.. I hate to see someone try to start over by jumping into a new relationship.. it never works.

      Reply
  9. Dr. Sarah David

    June 28, 2012 at 3:50 pm

    Liz, I certainly agree with you when you said, “you can’t be happy with someone else until you know how to be happy on your own.” Great article!

    Reply
  10. Suzanne Jones

    June 28, 2012 at 10:55 pm

    Great advice! I don’t believe at all in finding a replacement. I feel that looks desperate. Getting real and loving yourself is the answer but don’t take too long because you can get pretty comfortable in your own skin and not want anyone around!

    Reply
    • datingdiva61

      July 10, 2012 at 11:12 pm

      You are right Suzanne it does. It usually make you feel worse not better.

      Reply
  11. Carla J Gardiner

    June 29, 2012 at 9:29 pm

    It’s been awhile since I’ve gone through a nasty break up but slow is better. Rebounding into a new relationship can be dangerous and unhealthy for both partners.

    Reply
    • datingdiva61

      July 10, 2012 at 11:13 pm

      Unhealthy and dangerous .. yes it is.. It your mental and physical health.

      Reply
  12. Michael McDonald

    June 30, 2012 at 12:50 am

    These tips work for men too. I’ve ended up doing the same thing and it usually doesn’t end very well. Thanks for the reminder.

    Reply
    • datingdiva61

      July 10, 2012 at 11:14 pm

      Glad you got the reminder and no it usually ends not well. Heal after a breakup and then start again.

      Reply
  13. Susan Myers

    June 30, 2012 at 8:17 am

    So true in everything; you can’t be happy with others until you are happy with yourself. I honestly believe this is when you are open to finding true love…

    Reply
  14. Kerry Postel

    June 30, 2012 at 5:12 pm

    Great tips – wish I had these years ago!

    Reply
    • datingdiva61

      July 10, 2012 at 11:28 pm

      i wished i knew you then too sweetie! You are a doll!

      Reply
  15. Edmund Lee

    July 1, 2012 at 5:05 am

    Taking time to heal is one of the most important things that a person can do following a breakup. A lot of times, if that valuable time is skipped or neglected, it can lead to exponentially more problems, or grief can be passed onto another person.

    Reply
    • datingdiva61

      July 10, 2012 at 11:29 pm

      Bingo Edmund you inflict pain on someone else and they are heart broken after you breakup with them..

      Reply
  16. Theresa Cifali

    July 3, 2012 at 10:18 pm

    Awesome post, Elizabeth. I think almost every woman has been guilty of this at one time or another. Myself included. Looking inside and accepting responsibility (if there is some to be had) is so important in the healing process…and for making sure you don’t make the same mistakes again. Thanks for sharing.

    Reply
    • datingdiva61

      July 10, 2012 at 11:20 pm

      My husband divorced right before he and I started dating.. I broke up with him for almost a year because I knew he wasn’t okay yet. I am so glad that he got the room to heal and we have started dating a year later and have been together til today.. 27 years later we are happily married!

      Reply
  17. Carl Mason-Liebenberg

    July 4, 2012 at 9:38 am

    Great article! Thank you for excellent tips and guidance!

    Reply
    • datingdiva61

      July 10, 2012 at 11:20 pm

      ya welcome Carl.. Thanks for stopping by!

      Reply
  18. Jennifer

    July 4, 2012 at 5:42 pm

    Very good advice. I know people whose FB status is “in a relationship with John” on Friday, and by Monday it’s “In a relationship with Joe.” I’m thinking, “what?” . . . You’ve got to learn to be happy with yourself. And, I always feel sorry for the rebound guy, as you say, he’s never what you’re really looking for.

    Reply
    • datingdiva61

      July 10, 2012 at 11:22 pm

      i saw this and cringed.. married.. to singles to in a relationship with so and so in 2 weeks..? ahh huh? no way you are even divorced? LOL We lived in a different world these days.

      Reply
  19. Molly Groman

    July 20, 2012 at 2:04 am

    Really nice post! will be sharing it o my wall, I am sure it will help a lot of them out there. I have had few breakups earlier and the mantra was to keep myself busy with work. Trust me if you will keep your mind preoccupied, it is the best thing you can do!

    Reply
    • datingdiva61

      July 29, 2012 at 8:48 pm

      Thanks Molly.. It’s tough when you break up and when you add to that by making mistakes that make it hurt worse!

      Reply

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