Is Love Really Worth It ?

I hear the bitter tweets and post about love not being worth it and decided to share my friend Author Barbara j Peters article. The Subject often comes up ~ Is Love Really worth it ?

Guest Post From My Dear friend and Relationship Expert Barbara J Peters.

Barbara J. Peters is a gifted communicator with a laser beam ability to cut through the tangle of personal drama to get results and relationships that last a lifetime.  As a Licensed Professional Counselor, her counseling style is interactive, respectful, non-judgmental, and supportive.  “A large part of my practice is dedicated to working with couples. In my experience, most relationships can be saved, but romantic relationships are always evolving, so they need to be worked on constantly. You need to do that with the right tools.

I hear the bitter tweets and post about love not being worth it and decided to share my friend Author Barbara j Peters article.

Is it better to have loved and lost, than never to have loved at all?

If you ask somebody who is deeply hurting after a break-up, the answer will probably be a resounding, in-your-face, NO! Not all love relationships last. In fact, many will end

in sadness and regret, and most of us will suffer from a broken heart at least once in our lives.

When a relationship ends for you, do you embrace what it was or do you become hardened and swear you’ll never fall in love again, not ever? Can you take what was good

and look back fondly to see how the relationship molded you into a better person? Can you appreciate what traits your partner encouraged in you? Or are you obsessed and

plagued with questions of why, why, why? Do you get caught up in what you might have done wrong or what he/she did wrong to destroy the relationship? Do you replay

scenarios in your mind, creating happier endings? Does anger or revenge fill your thoughts and actions? After the hurt subsides, most of us can’t help but think of the

happiness and thrill even a failed relationship brought into our lives, and how we changed personally simply by spending time deeply in love and committed to another

person. It may take a while to get to this point, but it is a healthy place to be. It definitely is better to have loved and lost than never to have loved at all. Think of what you would

have missed!

Love is a wonderful emotion and to capture and enjoy its warmth even for a brief time is a gift. Love is what gives us purpose; it is what gives us hope; it is what gives us

significance. When I work with people who have recently divorced or have terminated a meaningful and deep relationship, I urge them to look for what they

gained from being in the relationship, even though it may have altered course along the way. Sometimes holding a symbolic mirror and looking deep into it will show

is love worth it, relationship advice couples

lessons learned about personal limitations and the need for personal growth, as well as revealing unknown strengths and purposes. These are the markers for success in

future relationships. In any and every union, there will always be something to celebrate on the path to finding someone with whom to share our lives, hopes, and dreams in

a love infused future.

 

 You Can Follow Barbara on Twitter @CouplesAuthor or connect with her on Facebook at TheGiftOfAlifeTimeBook

and read more from Relationship Expert, Author, and blogger Barbara J Peters At the GiftofaLifetime.net

You Might Also Enjoy a Copy Of Barbara’s Award Winning E-Book He Said, She Said, I Said. Click the Book to Get a Copy Of this Relationship Book that sits on my desk and is a favorite reference to aid me in my marriage.  Or Click this Link and sign up for a free preview.

Comments

  1. says

    Barbara, yes!! What a wonderful post! It is better to have loved and lost than to have never loved at all, absolutely. I love how you ask people to look at what they gained in the relationship and help them get to that healthy place. Learn the lessons, let go of the negative emotions and move on…because we all deserve love! Fabulous!

    • says

      We All Deserve love and what better 1 I got a man who realize just that after he messed up what was a beautiful love. I let him take the tine to grieve and get back to a good place. I am so grateful he realized that he could love again and has loved me and my girls with a beautiful love that has lasted 27 years and counting.!

  2. says

    I love to be loved and I love to love people and especially my husband of course, I know I will get it back; that makes it easy! I think it all depends on how a relationship ends; if one of the two found another partner, that must be very difficult. But there is always a way back by forgiving the other person.

  3. says

    I believe every relationship that comes to an end, while perhaps incredibly painful, definitely makes us better in the long run and helps us change things about ourselves for the future. Great article! Thanks!

    • says

      Catherine I agree.. Love is so worth it if we realize the risk is always worth the hurt! I really appreciate Barbara Peters for allowing us to share this article with my readers.

  4. says

    I always get such a lot from Barbara’s posts because the advice is always spot on. As I go through a testing time in a close relationship ‘Is it worth it?’ is exactly what I’ve been asking myself recently! And I agree with that lovely quote that ‘It is better to have loved and lost than to have never have loved at all.’ At the end of the day – it’s worth it!

    • says

      CArolyn , I met Barbara over a year ago and just fell in love with her books and her great advice about love. Her e-book is an amazing tribute to her life’s work and a great outline to help us all have better relationships.

  5. says

    The end of love does bring heartache…and it is not just with person-to-person relationships. When I had to put my dog down, I swore I would never have another dog, the pain was just too great. It took awhile, but Sadie (German shepherd mix) is my loving companion now. Hearts heal … we remember the love and move into the next relationship. Thanks for the post!

    • says

      Merly, The same thing happened to me after I lost a dog that was like a child to me. It was 15 years before I got another dog that I loved like that. I have lost her too this year. but I know as painful as the loss is the love brough much to my life.

  6. says

    Thank you for sharing… a very interesting book. We can easily get caught up in why, why, why questions and at times there will be no answer to why. It is so great when we can look back founly and jus take the great moments and see what the relationship gave to us and how did it help to grow personally.

    • says

      I love this book. After reading it Barbara and I became fast friends. It’s to powerful and beautiful! I have learned a great deal about my own relationship by applying the principals from her book to my own marriage.

  7. says

    I loved this line, “Love is a wonderful emotion and to capture and enjoy its warmth even for a brief time is a gift.” — so very, very true. And I loved your closing, “In and in every union, there will always be something to celebrate on the path to finding someone with whom to share our lives, hopes and dreams…” Beautiful!

  8. says

    Every single relationship taught me something, regardless why it ended. I discovered little nooks and crannies of myself I never would have, had I not loved. What’s more, I had one relationship where all those close to me feared I was somehow being taken advantage of. What they didn’t realize was that I was learning things that would allow me to make my 50s, 60s, 70s, 80s and maybe 90s into the best years of my life. Have to honor that!

  9. says

    Liz, thanks for sharing Barbara’s article on love being worth it. I am speaking from someone who has been married once to the same man for over 51 years. Love always has its up and downs but when it all comes down to it in the long run, yes, it is definitely worth it all. To not be loved or have anyone to love would make life very difficult. Of course, to have the love of God in my heart is the ultimate love.

  10. says

    Such an important topic and sometimes misunderstood in the commitment of “I do.” I am married a long time and the trust and commitment is very powerful to this relationship. The book title sounds familiar or similar to one I purchased and wanted to do with my husband; however, with him not wanting to participate I may still have the book around. Still the he said, she said is vital. Thanks Barbara.

    • says

      Thanks Carol, I really love this book and it helped me look at my marriage and the differences in the way men and women look at problems. I was sent the book to review last summer and fell in love with the book and adore Barbara. We are good friends!

  11. says

    Great post, Barbara! I think when a relationship ends, if both people involved look at it as part of their journey in sculpting who they have become and don’t let the break up define who they are, they can really grow from it. It does take time to heal oneself, that goes for the person who left the relationship as well and that is so important. Thanks, ladies!

    • says

      That’s so true.. my baby and her sweetheart broke up and it hurts my heart for them both. She just wanted to grow up before she was finished with college and had to be an adult.

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