Self Help can Work if You Don’t put in the Work
Barbara J Peter
how many self-help books have you read or paged through at the bookstore? There have to be a zillion books out there, all promising to create a wonderful relationship or marriage. Are you suffering from visual overload yet? Most self-help books are exceptionally credible and offer solid suggestions for improving relationships or getting them back on track. How many of these suggestions do you actually put into practice? Do you feel they don’t pertain to you? Do you read these books so you’ll feel better thinking, “Wow, I’m sure glad I don’t have to deal with that!”
Or maybe you think once you fall in love, your relationship goes on auto-pilot and you’ll fly the friendly skies without any direction on your part? Then wonder one day, what’s this turbulence all about?
You Have to Do More than Read a self Help for it to work
As a therapist, I often encounter couples who come to our sessions unprepared to work on their issues. From the moment the door closes behind them the week before, they struggle along in a lackluster or troubled relationship and have done little or nothing to make it better. Do they expect hearing weekly words from me or reading suggestions from a book will magically change their lives?
Sometimes I want to ruffle my feathers and shout, “Just do it – make something happen!”
I firmly believe, a marriage or relationship is only as good as the actions taken within it.
I’m not talking about moving mountains to show your lover you care. I’m thinking of the things you can do every day which take little effort, but do show thoughtfulness and consideration.
Just remembering to say I love you, or even please and thank you, can make a huge difference in how your partner responds to you. Compliments work great too, but most importantly, spend time to catch up at the end of each day. This clearly says, “You are important to me and I want to know how you’re doing and feeling.”
A favorite saying of mine goes something like this . . . Enjoy the little things in life, for soon you will realize they were really the big things.
Enjoy your spouse or partner – love the life you live together by making each day count through your actions. Those words and actions will send your message of commitment and support to the one you love.
Barbara j Peters is a gifted Couples counselor helping countless couples save a relationship in crisis.
from the blog the GiftOfaLifetime.net
Barbara I Peters is a relationship expect and author of 2 exceptional book for couples who has years of experience helping couples save troubled relationships.
Are her Award winning Relationship books where she shares advice to to help you build a relationship to last a lifetime.