Written by

Barbara J Peters

Relationship Expert and Marriage Counselor
Romance can – and should – span the ages! In my counseling practice that’s exactly what I support. This is the theme of my
my recently-written first romance novel, available in eBook form in Spring 2013.

I hope you enjoy the sample below. Leave a comment below – I’d love to hear what you think!

Barbara

My dear friend and award winning author, Barbara J Peters, offered to share her first chapter of her latest work with me and I’m excited to be able to bring it to you! This is a beautiful romance in the making and I think you’ll enjoy the story. Visit Barbara and tell her what you think!
June, 2012
It was twilight and the irascible Florida sky, wide and threatening promised almost anything from a cloudburst to a breeze. When Melanie got out of her white BMW convertible in the parking lot of the Boca Raton Hilton a slight breeze wrapped her knee length dress around her revealing a still curvy figure. Although nearing 66, she was still very much a young looking attractive woman; not many wrinkles but still contemplating eye surgery. As a nurse she was scared of operative procedures and pain. When she was out with her 38-year old daughter, people often mistook them as friends, which always made her feel good. So she thought, the heck with the surgery. They’ll have to love me sags and bags. Men still did a double take from time to time. A brunette with long stylish hair she wore it with a few blonde streaks, much like she did in high school. A pretty face with a turned up nose and a smile that warmed the heart. Melanie Schulman still had the “it” factor. She, however, was the only one who didn’t realize this.
Today, she and her best friend Lois Drazin, who she grew up with, had a drink date. They were soul mates in every way, borrowing each other’s clothes and often double dating before both married. Even though they had been in different cliques in high school, they remained friends. Most importantly, Lois was a sweetheart, always ready to help a friend.
Just as Melanie walked up to the curb, she spotted her friend getting out of her two door sports Mercedes. Lois was a leggy blonde with an even Florida tan. The copper tone of her skin magnificently set off her green eyes. Although she loved haute couture she shopped at Marshalls with a keen eye for knowing exactly what she wanted. She wore a 4.5 karat diamond ring and a wedding band but somehow managed for her ensemble to look understated. She was unpretentious in her own way.
They entered the white marble lobby of the hotel after a quick hug. Melanie’s warm smile brightened her pretty face but Lois, a discerning friend, could tell something was on her mind.
They were still waiting for their drinks on the lanai by the pool when the setting sun sent a rainbow shimmering across the fountain spray arising from the center of the pool. It got their attention.
“Look at that,” remarked Lois. “Means something big is about to happen.”
Grinning, Melanie said, “That’s either hopeful or foreboding.”
Lois shared her grin.
Both were analytical and Lois was into astrology and had been begging Melanie to do her astrological chart. While Melanie had no interest in this, she knew that Lois saw the merit in it.
The drinks came and the middle-aged waiter gave the two attractive ladies a big smile.
Lois, thoughtfully sipping her drink, said, “So what’s bothering you. This e-mail message from some guy we knew back in high school coming out of the blue?”
“Well yeah. You know how it is,” Melanie said. “My personal life right now is far from ideal. I’ve been living a rather uninteresting life.” Then suddenly out of context she added, “It’s funny I don’t remember him at all.”
Lois remarked, “From my recollection he was a nice guy, kind of smart. In fact, he even wrote in my yearbook! My guess is that you’re hoping that this goes somewhere beyond just friendly chat?”
Blushing almost imperceptibly, Melanie leveled her gaze at her friend and said, “I’d be lying if I told you that it didn’t get me thinking. About everything. Like I could fool you anyway.”
Lois sipped her drink, her eyes full of interest. “You looked him up in the yearbook, of course.”
Melanie grinned again. “Of course. He’s quite handsome if that’s something to hang your hat on. I don’t remember even talking to him. But who can remember, it’s been so long ago. As you know, I was a cheerleader and our groups of friends were as far apart as Alaska is from Australia. That much I remember.”
Soon, the hor’s d’oeuvres arrived. Nibbling a mozzarella stick Lois said, “You seem like you are flattered with his attention for you. The way you blush when you talk about him gives you away. Come on Mel, let me in.”
“OK, it’s true,” Melanie said. “I am getting a bit ahead of myself. But it all makes me wonder if it’s too late. Why am I thinking like this? The die is cast. Do people our age make mid life changes and come away happy? Or do they just get new troubles in a different pair of pants?”
“Who knows,” said Lois, “life is complicated and uncertain. We don’t get to know the outcomes often. If you let me do your chart, I might be able to see some trends. One thing for sure, I can see it in your eyes. You’re excited about the possibilities.”
Instead of the expected mirth, Melanie lapsed serious, a twinge of apprehension tempering her expression. “Is that a bad thing?” she asked seriously. “Perhaps I should just forget all of this childish daydreaming and walk away from it.”
Lois shook her head. “How many years do we know each other? I’m betting that you can’t. I know you too well. Your curiosity has a hold of you and now it’s too late.”
Melanie wouldn’t admit it to her friend of course. Her life was so bland and she was so starved for affection and love that any glimmer of excitement and male attention was bound to move her. She knew that Lois was right.
****************
Melanie parked in the driveway of the sprawling ranch with the Spanish tile roof and transplanted coconut palms out front. Flowers of bright yellows and white leading the way to the front door. She sat in the car, marveling for a few minutes before going in. The lawn and shrubbery had just been cut and the sweet smell of freshly cut grass was in the air. She looked at the house and grounds. What I always wanted, a beautiful home, a useful job and……. The missing element. A life rich with passion, romance and fulfillment. Well, maybe the romance was a pipe dream but at the very least contentment should be in the picture.
She loved her house and had decorated it according to her personal taste. The colors were close to nature, often ochre, green and beige and earth tones, which enhanced the overall serenity and gave the feel of the outdoors.
The house was quiet as usual when she walked in. Her only welcome was her pet, Schneider, an eight-year old King Charles Cavalier whose name she had lifted from one of her favorite soap operas of the sixties. Small, with his soulful eyes, sweet “melting” expression, tri-colored markings and elegant silky coat and wearing the perpetual frown characteristic of the breed, Schneider made up for what he lacked in size with enthusiasm as he rocketed into Melanie’s arms. She spent some time greeting him and easing his loneliness, smiling and laughing at his zealous antics. He was the apple of her eye, since the children had flown away from the nest long ago and created their own families. “Are you that glad to see me, you old charmer, or are you just hungry,” she said as she slipped off her shoes and looked around to see what needed to be cleaned. Quite frequently when she came home from work she had to clean up a mess in the kitchen, which her husband had left before dashing off to a golf date. This day was no different.
She understood his passion for golf. After all, she herself played tennis. It kept her heart healthy and her legs toned. But she did resent his forgoing a more intense personal relationship in favor of the sport.
With a sigh Melanie went to the refrigerator to check out what there was for dinner. “Guess it’s going to be leftovers again tonight,” she told the dog who was busy with his own evening meal. She popped the meal of spaghetti and veal cutlet into the microwave, poured herself a small glass of wine and as soon as it was ready she took it to her computer in the den.
She was new to the technological age, having been led to it by her adult children, Edward, who was forty-one and Megan who was thirty-eight. Edward had kidded her about being a “Luddite” because of her resistance. She had to look up the word before understanding that it referred to those who resisted technological advances. But, now considering how lonely she had been feeling these days, she looked
forward to it. Even though her job as a cardiac nurse was fulfilling, it still left her with a lot of time on her hands.
Her fascination and interest in the Internet had a lot to do with pleasant anticipation. It was now the source that piqued her imagination. It was fun to check the e-mail and find messages from friends. Right now she was focusing on a 50th high school reunion on the horizon. Somehow the Internet had its own special kind of expectation, allowing her to wander into another world. It provided a quiet hope that something interesting would be waiting. In short it was something to look forward to, of the kind that promised almost anything you were looking for. Friendship, hope, interesting banter, almost anything you were looking for. In any case it stirred her as she sat down to the computer with its promise of what was lacking in one’s life.
This day her heart leaped at the notice of “You have mail.” She quickly punched the appropriate keys and there it was. A note from Mark.
Melanie,
I’ve been enjoying chatting with you, and in case you don’t remember what I look like, I thought you might to take a look. I believe that there are two photos on my somewhat vestigial social media site. If you can’t access them, let me know…Never really got into all the social media technology, but thought it would be fun to see if any of our classmates were still around. It is interesting to reconnect with people from the past.
I did follow your link by the way. Looks like life is treating you well. Happy to see it. By the way, are those grandkids in your photo? So cute! How old are they?
Rgds,
Mark
Melanie’s jaw dropped in awe of Mark’s pictures. Just like the yearbook version, he was quite handsome, with blond hair and a mystery in his piercing blue eyes that promised something beyond good looks. She replied to the email answering the mundane questions first and then suggesting that they use personal emails for future correspondence, hoping for a more intimate conversation to develop. She wrote:
Mark,
Please E-mail me directly. I usually don’t check these social media sites very often as I too am not a big fan. (she then provided a link to her e-mail)
Would love to hear more about you and your life.
Yours,
Mel
Two days later, she got an e-mail, direct from Mark, which made her heart leap into her throat.
Melanie,
So glad to have your personal email. I might just be coming to your neck of the woods in a few weeks for a business trip. My career often causes me to travel. We can get into that later. It sure would be nice to meet you again after all these years. What do you think?
In the meantime, I would love to hear more about your life, and would be happy to acquaint you with mine. We do have a history in common and probably know a lot of the same people still.
Rgds,
Mark
Melanie took a deep breath. Her heart was pounding. Coming to Florida? If he only knew! This was so exciting. Her imagination took off on flights of its own that she had little control over. She quickly responded and agreed to correspond. She was so bold as to give him her phone number, just in case he had the urge to talk. Melanie felt like a schoolgirl again and was enjoying the fantasies of the unknown. For some strange reason she felt she was being pulled to him like a magnet. Still unsure of his marital situation she decided to opt on the cautious side.
The next few days she had a twinkle in her eye as she went through her usual daily activities. She allowed herself to fantasize and take trips down memory lane.
As the days went by they became more than pen pals asking each other questions about themselves. They shared many intimate details of their lives getting to know each other better, laughing together
and enjoying their talks. They got personal and intimate and seemed to be connected on many levels. The topics they talked about had no censorship.
It was as though almost 50 years was a mere illusion.
E mailing each other became the highlight of her days. She went to sleep thinking of him and woke up thinking of him. She was falling in love and told him so.
Then one day the phone call came, unexpected. And that changed the dynamics of the relationship bringing them even closer. Hearing his voice added another dimension to their growing connection.
During one of the phone calls he told her that he’d had a “crush” on her for a year and a half during high school but wouldn’t ask her out because he didn’t have a car and didn’t think she would be interested in him. He said he remembered sitting behind her in a class and called her a “goddess”. He said he remembered her being funny and genuine unlike the other girls in her crowd. She couldn’t stop herself from wondering what would have happened if he had asked her out. But that was more than 45 years ago, back in Brookline, Massachusetts, where they grew up. A lot of time had passed since they’d walked the same halls. Was it now too late for a second chance?
Returning her thoughts to the present, she wondered, what will I do if he asks me out? She was unhappily married—but still married. Was the answer in the stars? Should she let Lois do her chart? Lois certainly believed it would be beneficial and Melanie knew her friend would never be anything but genuinely honest with her. My gosh! What if it revealed that Mark was supposed to be a big part of her life? What if her life still held promise of world travel and adventure as well as romance? So many ifs. Ultimately the question for Melanie was, should I wait and let it happen or should I find my own direction?
She knew there was a lot of cynicism about astrology and downright phoniness too. But there was also something quite alluring about the concept of the stars plotting your future. Yes, maybe she should do the chart after all.

A Guest Post From Barbara J Peters

This Post is about a marriage but could apply is dating relationships too.  To get to the part in a relationship where it turns into a lifetime of marriage you have to ask yourself these questions.

relationship advice- how to find the perfect partner – 9 questions to ask yourself

“7 years ago today I said yes to a date with ‘a guy from HS.’ 4 years ago today we said yes and became husband and wife. I believe in fate & true love. Happy anniversary to my best friend & soulmate. I love you!”

This was posted on my friend’s daughter’s news feed on Facebook, and I couldn’t resist the temptation to blog about it!  Why?  Because a lot of people don’t believe that a happy marriage and love can be one and the same. Yes it’s true there are a lot of other components to marriage but without the above words, a marriage probably won’t survive. Without love, friendship, and more a marriage is merely a written contract – and unfortunately, one that is breakable at a whim.  It might be a marriage on paper, but not what I’d call a happy marriage.

Look at your relationship and assess the qualities

9 Questions to Ask For A Happy Marriage

Are you friends that you can count on?

Are you in love and still feel the same way you did when you said, “I Do” on your wedding day?

Are you meant to be together forever and ever?

Do you have respect for each other?

Do you allow each other your differences?

Do you forgive each other for mistakes made?

Do you support each other even when you don’t agree?

Are you soulmates?

Wondering just what it is that makes someone a “soulmate?”

According to UrbanDictionary.com, some characteristics of a soulmate are:

“A person with whom you have an immediate connection the moment you meet — a connection so strong that you are drawn to them in a way you have never experienced before.

This connection develops over time and you experience a love so deep, strong and complex, that you begin to doubt that you have ever truly loved anyone prior.

Your soulmate understands and connects with you in every way and on every level, which brings a sense of peace, calmness and happiness when you are around them.

And when you are not around them, you are all that much more aware of the harshness of life, and how bonding with another person in this way is the most significant and satisfying thing you will experience in your lifetime.

You are also all that much aware of the beauty in life, because you have been given a great gift and will always be thankful.”

Having pondered on the above questions, you might have a good idea of how a happy marriage and love look.

Do you have a happy marriage?  Does your marriage look like the one I described above?  It’s my hope it does, then you too will have the gift of a lifetime!

Barbara J Peter

Relationship Expect

how many self-help books have you read or paged through at the bookstore?  There have to be a zillion books out there, all promising to create a wonderful relationship or marriage. Are you suffering from visual overload yet? Most self-help books are exceptionally credible and offer solid suggestions for improving relationships or getting them back on track. How many of these suggestions do you actually put into practice? Do you feel they don’t pertain to you? Do you read these books so you’ll feel better thinking, “Wow, I’m sure glad I don’t have to deal with that!”

Or maybe you think once you fall in love, your relationship goes on auto-pilot and you’ll fly the friendly skies without any direction on your part? Then wonder one day, what’s this turbulence all about?

You Have to Do More than Read a self Help for it to work

As a therapist, I often encounter couples who come to our sessions unprepared to work on their issues. From the moment the door closes behind them the week before, they struggle along in a lackluster or troubled relationship and have done little or nothing to make it better. Do they expect hearing weekly words from me or reading suggestions from a book will magically change their lives?

Sometimes I want to ruffle my feathers and shout, “Just do it – make something happen!”

I firmly believe, a marriage or relationship is only as good as the actions taken within it.

I’m not talking about moving mountains to show your lover you care. I’m thinking of the things you can do every day which take little effort, but do show thoughtfulness and consideration.

Just remembering to say I love you, or even please and thank you, can make a huge difference in how your partner responds to you. Compliments work great too, but most importantly, spend time to catch up at the end of each day. This clearly says, “You are important to me and I want to know how you’re doing and feeling.”

A favorite saying of mine goes something like this . . . Enjoy the little things in life, for soon you will realize they were really the big things.

Enjoy your spouse or partner – love the life you live together by making each day count through your actions. Those words and actions will send your message of commitment and support to the one you love.

Barbara j Peters is a gifted Couples counselor helping countless couples save a relationship in crisis.

from the blog the GiftOfaLifetime.net

Barbara I Peters is a relationship expect and author of 2 exceptional book for couples who has years of experience helping couples save troubled relationships.

TheGiftOfALifeTime And He Said She Said I Said

Are her Award winning Relationship books where she shares advice to to help you build a relationship to last a lifetime.

By Barbara J peters

Want a loving relationship to last? With all the communication problems that exist between two people it is no wonder why loving relationships are hard to maintain. Communication falters on many occasions leaving the two people frustrated and disconnected. Being able to accurately read your significant other’s thoughts and feelings can make the difference between hearing wedding bells or a nasty break up.

According to a recent study from Harvard University, “being able to accurately read your partner’s emotions and believing that your partner is trying to understand your emotions is related to relationship satisfaction.”  In other words: Empathy can be a secret for a happier relationship.

Developing empathy is a little like working out and building a muscle.  It takes a choice, each and every day.   Activating that “empathy muscle” takes some stretching.  Some work.  And sometimes it’s just plain uncomfortable. But choosing empathy is a skill and a habit that you can learn.

Want a loving relationship?  Try these 3 secrets.

Develop empathy. Get into his or her shoes, even if they are not your size. I was sitting with a couple today and the female was complaining that he couldn’t see that her friendship with a male friend of long ago was harmless. I asked her how she would feel if he was the one with the “friend” relationship of the opposite sex? She replied, “that happened a few years ago.” So I said, “and how did it make you feel?” To this she replied, “hurt, unloved and confused.” This exercise helped her understand intellectually and from a feeling level exactly how her partner was currently feeling.

Practice reflective listening. Listen for emotional messages and avoid defensiveness. Emotional messages aren’t the same as verbal statements – they’re the feelings behind the words.  Look beyond the words and find the meaning, even if the other person is having trouble articulating it. Then paraphrase the content back so that it can be validated for accuracy.  Instead of assuming you understand how he or she feels, let the other person tell you when you’ve expressed their feeling clearly.

Be willing to apologize for mistakes without sounding trite. Letting someone know you messed up and want to do better is a gift from the heart. Nothing means more than an honest expression of a wrong doing, an open admission of responsibility and a willingness to do it a different way.

Whatever secret you choose, make sure it is consistent. Doing something for a day or a week is merely putting a band aid on the cut. Do it from the heart and do it with the intent to make it forever. Relationships are not made in heaven, but you can be in heaven if you put the effort in everyday to get there.

Please visit Relationship Expert , Author,and Marriage Counselor Barbara J Peters

To Find out more about her Books <~~ click the links

Guest Post From My Dear friend and Relationship Expert Barbara J Peters.

Barbara J. Peters is a gifted communicator with a laser beam ability to cut through the tangle of personal drama to get results and relationships that last a lifetime.  As a Licensed Professional Counselor, her counseling style is interactive, respectful, non-judgmental, and supportive.  “A large part of my practice is dedicated to working with couples. In my experience, most relationships can be saved, but romantic relationships are always evolving, so they need to be worked on constantly. You need to do that with the right tools.

I hear the bitter tweets and post about love not being worth it and decided to share my friend Author Barbara j Peters article.

Is it better to have loved and lost, than never to have loved at all?

If you ask somebody who is deeply hurting after a break-up, the answer will probably be a resounding, in-your-face, NO! Not all love relationships last. In fact, many will end

in sadness and regret, and most of us will suffer from a broken heart at least once in our lives.

When a relationship ends for you, do you embrace what it was or do you become hardened and swear you’ll never fall in love again, not ever? Can you take what was good

and look back fondly to see how the relationship molded you into a better person? Can you appreciate what traits your partner encouraged in you? Or are you obsessed and

plagued with questions of why, why, why? Do you get caught up in what you might have done wrong or what he/she did wrong to destroy the relationship? Do you replay

scenarios in your mind, creating happier endings? Does anger or revenge fill your thoughts and actions? After the hurt subsides, most of us can’t help but think of the

happiness and thrill even a failed relationship brought into our lives, and how we changed personally simply by spending time deeply in love and committed to another

person. It may take a while to get to this point, but it is a healthy place to be. It definitely is better to have loved and lost than never to have loved at all. Think of what you would

have missed!

Love is a wonderful emotion and to capture and enjoy its warmth even for a brief time is a gift. Love is what gives us purpose; it is what gives us hope; it is what gives us

significance. When I work with people who have recently divorced or have terminated a meaningful and deep relationship, I urge them to look for what they

gained from being in the relationship, even though it may have altered course along the way. Sometimes holding a symbolic mirror and looking deep into it will show

lessons learned about personal limitations and the need for personal growth, as well as revealing unknown strengths and purposes. These are the markers for success in

future relationships. In any and every union, there will always be something to celebrate on the path to finding someone with whom to share our lives, hopes, and dreams in

a love infused future.

 You Can Follow Barbara on Twitter @CouplesAuthor or connect with her on Facebook at TheGiftOfAlifeTimeBook

and read more from Relationship Expert, Author, and blogger Barbara J Peters At the GiftofaLifetime.net

You Might Also Enjoy a Copy Of Barbara’s Award Winning E-Book He Said, She Said, I Said. Click the Book to Get a Copy Of this Relationship Book that sits on my desk and is a favorite reference to aid me in my marriage.  Or Click this Link and sign up for a free preview.

Recovering Breakup For Women

There’s a saying that has been doing the rounds for a long time. It goes; to get over one man get under another. Many a woman has tried it and many a woman has also failed in becoming a stronger, happier lad in the long run. There may be a grain of truth in the saying, in that it’s hard to think about your old guy when you’ve got a sexy new man on the go. Unfortunately, it’s rarely the case for women that the rebound guy is really what they were looking for. More often than not Miss Break-up gets with Mr. Right now simply to ease the pain of the broken heart.

Of course you’ll have to get yourself a new man eventually but in the meantime take some time to yourself and make sure your heart is truly healed before hopping into bed with the next man.

First, take the time to think about what went wrong with your previous relationships and why they didn’t quite work out. Don’t dwell on the matter, just be aware of what wasn’t quite right so you know what to change next time around. If the break-up was all his fault, don’t beat yourself up about it; that’s his problem. If you recognise that you might have been part of the problem, accept your faults and start working on fixing them.

The next thing to remember is that you can’t be happy with someone else until you know how to be happy on your own. It’s a simple concept really; the more baggage you are carrying forward with you, the more problems you will come across in your new relationship. Give yourself some love; make a list of things that you like about yourself and then another about things that you would like to improve. Be positive, be happy, and get some confidence.

The next stage in recovering from a break up in order to start your new dating quest on a positive note is to surround yourself with good things and happy people. Sometimes your friends, family, and colleagues can be the direct cause of your unhappiness. Tell yourself that you do not have to put up with negative comments from anyone, get rid of ‘friends’ who don’t make you feel as good as you should and replace them with  a group who are happy to tell you how great you are, and who are happy to hit the town with you. Go out with the intention n having fun, not with the intention of pulling.

If all else fails retreat to your bed, eat chocolate, and watch Bridget Jones’ diary. It might make you feel better for a while but it’s definitely not the way to finding a new man.

Find more tips at: http://www.chatboxuk.com

Eli J. Finkel, Ph.D., the lead author of this review, Online, has a lot to say about online dating. According to Dr. Finkel, “Online dating is great. It allows people access to potential partners they otherwise would not have.” Not to bust Dr. Finkel’s chops, but we kind of already knew that. Moving on!

The good Doctor does bring up an interesting point. He states, “Specific things that online dating sites do undermine some of its greatness.” Do tell.

He points out that although profiles cover your personality traits, likes, dislikes, and what you are looking for in a potential “match”, sometimes this information is not exactly useful in identifying a partner. I know that sounds like the complete opposite of everything we’ve ever told you at DatingDiva, but do not panic! What Dr. Finkel is trying to point out is many of us still don’t know exactly who we are looking for.  Sound familiar? Remember our little piece a while back “Branding Yourself Online”? If you don’t, or haven’t read it yet take a moment to check it out. A little refresher never hurt anyone.  Truly, Dr. Finkel makes a great point. If you don’t know who you’re looking for, how can you expect to find them?

A coauthor to this article, Dr. Harry Reis, points out that the “buffet” of potential dates can cause us to fall into a “shopping mentality”. Dr. Reis states, “Objectifying your potential dates and comparing them like shoes,” is a bad thing. Yes it does seem, a little shallow, but I’m going to have to politely disagree. No, people are not shoes, but in all honesty we all “window shop” before committing to an actual social interaction. I’m not condoning or condemning this approach. It is what it is.  I do have this to say, we live in a visual society and when you couple that with “I like what I see and we both like reading/hiking/knitting etc.,” it at least gives people a solid starting point.

The real kicker, for me at least, is the apparent thumbs down given by Dr. Finkel and his group of coauthors on the effectiveness of matchmaking algorithms. As a matter of fact the authors were unable to find a single thorough study showing the effectiveness the matched-by-science-and-algorithm approach.

I hate to argue with an algorithm, but it’s time the truth be known. I have worked with niche dating sites for ten years . I could quote facts and figures supporting their effectiveness, but that would be boring. Not to mention I’ve used the word algorithm so many times I’m afraid I might have nightmares about my high school math teacher. It’s not science, and it certainly isn’t magic. So let me put it this way. When you join a site whose sole purpose is to match people with similar interests guess what? You are much more likely to find exactly who you are looking for!

Online Dating: A Critical Analysis From the Perspective of Psychological Science

http://www.psychologicalscience.org/index.php/publications/journals/pspi/online-dating.html

Dr Finkel

Dr Reis

Time To Let The Fresh air in your Life

Pay attention men! This doesn’t just apply to ladies!

I’m sure most of you have forgotten your New Year’s resolutions. Maybe it was something silly like “I swear I won’t put my garbage in my neighbors can,” but maybe it was meaningful.  You might have decided to lose a little weight, or quit smoking. January has come and gone, but I’d be willing to bet your resolution hasn’t been resolved. Let’s get that enthusiasm back on track! I’m not saying you should go vegan and chuck out those killer leather platform shoes, but revisit that goal and give it another shot!

No matter where you call home, be it the mountains, or the wind chapped plains, winter is tough on your skin! Once again guys, pay attention! Now ladies you don’t have to fork over a small fortune for silky smooth skin, and guys you don’t have to endure the daunting skin care aisle. There are plenty of remedies that you can do right at home without breaking the bank. This is one of my favorite simple recipes.

Exfoliation Salt Scrub - Ingredients:

• Sea Salt(which you can easily find at the grocery store)
• Oil Base (I find good old virgin olive oil to work best but coconut oil and sunflower seed oil are also acceptable)
• Essential Oil (now guys you don’t have to use this, but you’d be surprised how pleasant and non-flowery smelling some types are)
• You follow the simple one part oil base to two parts salt ratio. Using a small container, like a mason jar or even a simple plastic container works just fine, add one cup of your salt. Next add a half of a cup of your oil base. If you’ve chosen to add an essential oil you can do so now. A few drops should do the trick. Mix gently and don’t freak out if the salt settles to the bottom. That’s to be expected.
• Now to scrub off your winter “coat” you’ll find that using your mixture on dry skin gives you the best result. You can use your hands to work it into the rough spots like elbows, heels, and knees. I’ve found that using a washcloth on your softer skin like you’re neck and face will leave you silky but not overly buffed.

Spring is also a great time to give your insides a little cleaning as well.

You don’t have to go nuts and grab the latest celebrity cleanse diet. Just check out the fresh seasonal produce. Eating healthy doesn’t mean you have to deprive yourself, or eat “rabbit food” guys. Farmer’s markets are a wonderful place to see not only what spring has to offer, but it’s also a great place to find out how to prepare some veggies you might not have ever tried. Sure it can be a little scary to bring home some goodies that you can’t even pronounce. Let’s face it though folks, canned green beans aren’t exactly broadening your palates horizon. Give your poor body a break and do a little spring cleaning.

Once the weather warms up spend a little time outside.

You might live in the big city, but smog aside, a little one on one time with the sun is actually good for you. Granted you do take the proper precautions. Sunscreen is your friend. Looking like a vintage leather purse is not! Studies show that sunshine makes us feel good.  Sunlight tells your body to wake up. Literally! It tells your body to stop producing melatonin, which is the natural chemical your body produces to make you sleepy. So throw open those blinds, grab your shades, and maybe walk the extra block to that “other” Starbucks.

I know I said we weren’t going to herd those pesky dust bunnies, but we don’t have to go Rambo style into a cleaning mission.

Seriously though, this is a good time to get rid of some personal “junk”. Ladies do you still have pictures of your ex taking up space? Lose them. Or at the very least box them up. Guys, if at some point an ex decorated your living space, this would be the time to reclaim it. Now is the perfect time to donate, relocate, or chuck those weird candles and that abstract cat painting.  Not to mention this can keep potential new dates from ever laying eyes on that suspiciously floral throw rug. This doesn’t just apply to singles. Couples can get in on the unclutter bandwagon too! If you are unlucky enough to share closet space with your other half it’s time to tame it. I’ll make it easy for you.

• Take every last thing out. Even if you know you’re going to put something right back. Take it out.
• Give your closet a good look. Check and see if all the shelves and racks are still secure. You don’t have to be carpenter to tighten a screw or adjust a few bolts.
• Now before you put a single thing back take a good hard look at your treasures. Both you and your other half should make four piles: Keep, discard, donate, and relocate.
• You might be thinking, “If I had somewhere to relocate this stuff, I would have already done it.” Well I’ll tell you how I took the bulk out of my closet that I begrudgingly share. I found some inexpensive storage ottomans. I keep seasonal clothes in them and actually found that they are pretty useful around the house.
• Finally you’re ready to put your goodies back. Bet you’ll be surprised at how much more room you have! See a little spring cleaning didn’t hurt that much!

I’ll be the first to say that I am domestically challenged.

I’m no cleaning wizard, and I’m sure many of you can relate. I will say this though, these tips aren’t too daunting. As a matter of fact they’re pretty simple. I like simple, but I especially like simply effective. Give them a try, or at the very least get rid of that rug your ex bought. You won’t be sorry. Try a little spring cleaning in your life.

Being in the dating game often involves an endless sea of dates, some more memorable than others. But, when you are ready to settle down the things you look for in your potential soul mate are subject to change. After all, this is someone you plan to spend the rest of your life with, maybe even have children with. Financially responsible men  are very attractive to many women looking for Mr. Right.

Unfortunately women don’t always know what they are looking for. So for all you ladies out there here are a few things that signal you have a financially responsible man; and guys you can use these as a guide for getting your financial house in order. I assure you the ladies love a financially fit man!

Tell Us about your Debt

The first date is certainly not the time to reveal your financial skeletons, but if we are getting serious don’t keep it from us. Women are by nature planners and don’t like to be ambushed by say a $10,000 credit card bill you racked up before we met. Not only do we want to know about it, we want to know that you have a plan to pay it off.

This may include:

• An aggressive personal debt re-payment plan.  This means paying more than the minimum payment each month, extra when you can, and a clearly defined   budget that you stick to. We’ll understand if an island vacation, expensive dinners, and gifts aren’t in the cards right now.
• Debt consolidation.  Perhaps you join a  plan that consolidates all of your unsecured debts into one affordable payment. You took the initiative  and are aggressively working on your debt.
• Debt settlement. Maybe you are in over your head due to a divorce or medical issue and racked up insurmountable debt and can’t afford to pay it back.  Debt Settlement is often more appealing than bankruptcy as it allows you to get back on your feet more quickly.

Have specific long-term goals

You have been out on a few dates, things are starting to get more serious and the conversation goes to the age old question, “Where do you see yourself in 10 years?” This question causes many men to give you the deer in the headlights look and a response of, “I really haven’t thought that far ahead.”

This is a total turnoff for many women looking for someone that is responsible, financially or otherwise. Goals are important, striving to achieve shows ambition.

Financially speaking it is important to set goals for yourself as well. For example:

• I want to save enough money for a down payment on a house.
• I want to have an emergency fund equivalent to 6 months salary.
• I want to have my student loans paid off.
• I want to start a retirement fund.

These are all responses that make women feel more secure; this guy has thought about his future and where he is headed.

Earning Potential is Important

We would like to say that it is not, but even in today’s society where women are thought to be equal we don’t want to support you. It is okay if we earn more, we just don’t want you sitting around the house doing nothing while we are out working. The stigma of having a man as the breadwinner still presents itself in many relationships.

This doesn’t mean that if your passion is teaching pre-school we won’t be attracted to you. Having a passion for your career and confidence is important to us.

The reason we are concerned with your earning potential has more to do with when the time comes to have a family we would like to have the option of at least one of us staying home even if it’s just for a little while with them.

We don’t Care if you keep Up with the Jones’s

Contrary to what you may think we don’t really care what kind of car you drive or that you’re renting an apartment. Now, if you are still living with mom and dad that may be a turnoff.

Here are a few turn-on’s:

• A man that knows how to spend wisely.
• Financial security; no debt, a job, and a savings account.
• A budget.

The bottom line is that we want a man that knows what he wants out of life and has a plan for achieving it. Whether you make six figures or minimum wage we want assurance that you are a hard worker, make smart decisions when it comes to money and know how to treat us even if its flowers picked from the yard, a cheap bottle of wine, and a home cooked meal.

Ladies do you have ways to uncover your date’s financial situation and is it important to you?

Guys how do you show off your financial savvy?

Bio:

Suzanne Cramer

Suzanne is a certified credit counselor and a Social Media Specialist for CareOne Debt Relief Services. Suzanne writes for Divorce, Debt and Finances and A Straight Talk on Debt. Follow Suzanne on Twitter @SuzanneCramer1 and @AskCareOne where she shares her insights on divorce and managing your finances.

He’s interested in what you’ve got to say
When you talk, is it give and take or is it a one way street? When
you’re on a date, the conversation should flow naturally. It’s all too
easy for a guy to take control of a conversation and to spend the
whole date talking at you but this is not the foundation of a balanced
relationship. If your date doesn’t ask questions and show an interest
in what you’ve got to say, he’s not worth it.

R-E-S-P-E-C-T
A man should be respectful all the time, but especially when he’s on
a date with you. Manners cost nothing and are a good way of seeing
that the guy you are dating is well-behaved and respectful. Watch out
for the little things. Does he hold the door open for you? Does he
stand up when you get to the table? These may sound silly but if he
can’t take care of the little things, he may struggle with the big
ones.

Trust
When things get a bit more serious, trust is going to play a major
part. You have to ask yourself ‘do I trust this guy?’ It’s a big
question and can be an uncomfortable one to answer but if you’re going
to have a future with the man you’re dating then you will have to
offer an unqualified ‘yes’. If you are ever going to be able to invest
emotionally in the relationship, trust must be established.

He’s got the whole package
  Mr. Right is going to have to be a pretty special guy because that’s
what you deserve. He’ll have to connect with you intellectually,
emotionally and physically. It’s a big ask but if you’re going to be
truly happy in your relationship then it’s something that he will have
to live up to.

  He lets you be yourself
Never change yourself to fit in with him. Doing so puts pressure on
you and worse than that, your guy will think you are someone you are
not. The relationship will be built on a set of unrealistic expectations.

Do You agree with Adam and his advice about Fining the perfect match? Leave a comment and Tell Me what you think.

Adam Silverman
Adam is a founder of DearClover a site where people
seeking advice about life and love can get thoughtful, objective, free
advice anonymously. If you like helping people and have wisdom to
share, then consider becoming an advisor.

My Darling Senior Diva Friend BettyLou Nelson is letting me share with you her wonderful offer for MATURE women only.Betty is offered to share her new book with my reads and I’m very excited to get it on my sites. Betty specializes in senior dating tips and advice for mature women. After mentoring with the likes of Dr. Wayne W Dyer, Dr. James Dobson, Phillip C. McGraw, PhD, Dr. Gary Chapman, Joyce Meyers, and many others, Betty can now share her amazing plan to help you find true love that lasts the rest of your life.

BettyLou Nelson has connected to, taken courses from, and attended seminars conducted by some of the best experts in the field of dating and relationships.

BettyLou Says ~

Hot Dating Tips for Cool Senior Divas

DO YOU WANT to find TRUE LOVE that lasts the REST of your life? Feeling overwhelmed by the process to get started?  This eBook will show you step by step how to find TRUE LOVE that lasts the REST of your life!

Finding and keeping a man does not have to be a looooooong and involved process. Lack of confidence is only a myth your mind has constructed. If you have the desire, you are 99% there!

I adore Betty and you will too. Why Am I so excited to share it ? Because  you will not only get her E-Book, you will also receive the personal support and attention of a seasoned, down-to-earth and highly inspirational, BettyLou Nelson, Dating and Relationship Coach and Mentor! That is a deal indeed.

Click Here To Read the rest of BettyLou Nelson’s offer !

You Can Find BettyLou on FaceBook  or on her site

You meet someone, you date for a few months, and then before you know it your clothes are tumbling along each other in the dryer, and  your sharing bills? Inevitably there comes a time in a newly blossoming relationship when the couple goes from dating to living together. For some couples the transition happens quickly for others years may go by before they are ready to make that kind of commitment. One of the biggest “should we move in together” factors usually comes down to finances.  When you decide to have the “talk” it is important to decide how you will split the household bills and financial management.  Without a plan the relationship is bound to suffer from arguments involving money.

So where do you start and how much do you entwine financially with your partner?

Ways to help couples managing money from an expert .

Talk about Debt

First things first; you must be straight with your partner. Debt is an ugly secret that ranks right up there with cheating or lying to your partner. If you are considering sharing financial responsibilities its time to fess up about any debt that you may have. Your partner is bound to be affected by major debt obligations that you have and should be made aware that the debt exists and what your plan for getting debt help is. You may be surprised how supportive your partner can be as you work to pay down your debt.  Couples Managing money together can really develop a bond. Try it!

Together or Separate Finances

Just because you move in together doesn’t mean you have to share the same bank account, open credit cards together, or co-sign on each other’s loans. There are several options when it comes to combining households.

• Separate accounts.  To keep the peace some couples opt to keep their accounts separate and split the bills. (For example one partner pays the rent, while the other pays the utilities).
• Joint accounts.  A joint account can be set up where both partners apply funds to pay the household expenses. Additionally you may choose to open a savings account together to save for your future home, vacations, or big-ticket items.
• A combination of both.  Maybe a joint account for household bills and separate accounts to manage other expenses such as car payments, debt payments, or potential child support obligations. When couples managing money have a plan the relationship will run smoother.

Who Manages the Bills?

However you choose to pay the bills there still needs to be  someone who is responsible for making sure the rent gets paid, the utilities are kept on, and rainy day savings are being kept up. How do you decide who takes the lead? If one partner decides to take the financial reins it is important to remember that while they have taken the responsibility of paying the bills that you keep yourself in the loop. At no point in the relationship should you find yourself in the dark about your household finances or debt management. Consider having a weekly / monthly meeting to discuss the household finances so that both partners are on the same page. If you decide to manage the household bills together be sure to set aside a time without distractions where both partners and can be involved. Couples managing money with a plan are far more likely to stay way from money problems and fights over money.

Regardless of whether your finances are joint or separate, how do you handle mingling households and finances? If you were dating, would you demand that your partner’s debt be paid in full before making a long-term commitment? Or are finances completely irrelevant? Couples managing money together must find common ground and often that builds a stronger and better relationship.

Bio:

Suzanne Cramer

Suzanne is a certified credit counselor and a Social Media Specialist for CareOne Debt Relief Services. Suzanne writes for Divorce, Debt and Finances and A Straight Talk on Debt. Follow Suzanne on Twitter @SuzanneCramer1 and @AskCareOne where she shares her insights on divorce and managing your finances.

Susan is a featured Diva for DatingDivaSites.com. Diva.. a woman magnifying her talents and blessing the loves of others ~ A Diva.  If you are a Diva I would love to feature you and your talents to bless the lives of other with your shared wisdom. Suzanne can help couples managing money together stay out of the money trouble traps and have a better relationship!

If You would like a to be featured Diva for DatingDivaSites.com send me a Bio to Liz@datingdivasites.com explaining you area of expertise and as it relates to building better relations for couple or dating help .

By Angela M Jordan

I used to think I loved myself.  I used to think that I knew the answers, that my take no prisoners, callus attitude was enough.  I used to think that not breaking down meant I was strong.  That because I thought I was awesome meant I loved myself.  But, I was wrong.

Loving yourself is not about how you FEEL about yourself; it’s about how you TREAT yourself.  So what does it truly take to love you? 

It took me years to learn the true meaning of “self-love” and now finally at the wonderful age of 29, I have, and then I wrote about it.  What I learned along the way is that your happiness and abundance is tied to your purpose, loving yourself is a choice and you CAN have whatever life you want for yourself.  Big life lessons for a girl from a small town outside of Baton Rouge, La.  What I am not is an expert, nor do I claim to have “arrived”, but what I am is an honest, authentic, soulful woman, just hoping to pass along a little of what I’ve learned on my journey to those who maybe haven’t made it as far yet.  My cup truly runneth over… and I would like for you to get in the overflow, trust me, it’s a great place to be.

I wrote Loving You as a way to give back, to share my story, my experience, and my love.  I want to teach you how to love yourself, how to find your purpose, and how to change your life.  Not ironically, they are all connected, and it all starts with the fundamental belief that you my dear are enough.

Loving You: A Girl’s Guide To Crazy, Sexy, Self-Love is just what you have been looking for to jumpstart your life, and in turn revolutionize your love life.  I have found that the key to healthy relationships start with the relationship you have with yourself.  If you cannot give to, have patience, forgive, and love yourself then how can you give that to someone else in it’s entirety?   The answer is you cannot.  You must first learn to commune with yourself, in a big way, and then the relationships will flow like hot syrup on warm waffles.  They will be effortless, easy even.

But I didn’t write a feel good, everyone is love and unicorns kinda book.  No, I wrote a get your ass up and get motivated kinda book, you know the kind that gets you moving, and in the right direction.

I found my purpose several years ago and it truly changed my life.  My hope for you is that you will do the same.  My hope is to spread love, share provoking and motivating thoughts, and bring inspiration to you.

Xo Angie

Angelia Jordan's

"My Husband Wants a Divorce.”

Divorced women how to Cope with the Devastating Blow

How many times in your life have you heard those words from a friend or an acquaintance looking to you for help or advice? What do you say?

Shortly after my own divorce, an acquaintance approached me in the grocery store, and to my complete surprise, she uttered just the words, “I’m getting a divorce”. I was totally shocked, as she and I hadn’t shared more than a distant wave “hello” between us in years. But something about the fact that I’d just gone through what she was about to go through, bonded us.

Ladies; here’s what I like to call a "bitch slap of truth"; if he wants to leave, let him go . How can I say that? Go brew some coffee. Get comfortable. This is going to be a long one.

As women, we have this weird ‘need’ to want to change ourselves into whatever HE wants us to be. And when he decides that what we've turned ourselves into, for him, just isn't enough, we throw up our hands and we say, "What else do I need to change to make you happy?"

Girls…here's the bottom line; He's a MAN…a flesh and bone human being. He's not a Louis Vuitton bag, or a sexy pair of Louboutins (seriously, I’d tear the head clean off of anyone who tried to take either of these from me). He's a MAN. And as such, he's gonna change his mind ten million times in this lifetime, about you and every-damn-thing-else, before he decides what he really 'wants'. Do you know what he really wants?

When he says, "I want a divorce…" it means that he wants to be without you. It means that he wants to dip his toe in the pool of his definition of ‘freedom’, to grab himself a taste of what he thinks he’s been missing (Ouch. I know that hurts but keep reading, I promise it gets better.)

But that doesn't mean that there's a thing wrong with you. In my own experience with those little words, my mind heard him saying: "I need to be by myself, so you can stop wasting your time with my lame self, and find someone who's worthy of the fabulous, stunning creation that you are. I’m truly not worthy of you." I'm not kidding. That's about what it adds up to for me. And I'm perfectly okay with that.

Girls, if/when your husband decides that he needs to be 'alone', or that you should 'take some time apart', or whatever his wording happens to be, don't misunderstand what I'm saying; yes, you should be disappointed; especially if his epiphany comes from out of the clear blue. Be disappointed. Be angry. Be upset. Throw stuff! Those are all very natural feelings and reactions to the possibility that this person that you thought you knew, this person with Whom you've shared everything for the last who knows how long, now wants 'out'. But once the dust settles, and you're calm, cool, and collected, you WILL be thinking, "I am an amazing creature! This is my time to figure out why I think I NEED to cling to this particular person, who has been verbal about the fact that I'm "not it". I don’t care who he thinks he is, or who you think you are you deserve to be “It”.

Take this time to work on who you are, and who you want to be. I know…it sounds fairly elementary, and it really is a total 'no brainer'. If he wants to 'figure out what he wants', I'll bet you a hundred bucks that if you use the time to do the same, and you're 100% honest with yourself, you'll find that he's not “It” either, regardless of how long you've been together, or what you share in life.

"I’m getting a divorce" isn't necessarily about you. It's his thing. Let him have his thing. Go find yours.
 

Debbie
xoxo

Bio

Debbie Burgin is an 11+ year divorcee, divorce coach, and author of The Joy Of  EX

Debbie works with divorced and divorcing women who struggle with self-esteem and financial issues, and would like to create a better life for themselves and their children.

Debbie was divorced in 2000, and in the five years following her divorce had been “bankrupted, repossessed and damn-near foreclosed on”, but knew when it was time to pick herself up, dust herself off, and get down to the business of creating a brand new life!

What separates Debbie’s service from that of other divorce coaches is that she only works with individuals who are ready to get on with the business of moving forward with their lives after divorce, but have no idea where to start. Her clients receive undiluted, extremely specific, step-by-step information on what they need to do to move forward with power after a divorce.

Debbie’s book, “The Joy of Ex” is available on here The Joy Of Ex

Coping and getting ready to get back into the world of dating can be tough for divorced singles. If you would like to talk about how to get back into the world of dating after a divorce I'm here to serve you. The world of online dating can be a great place to try to easy back into dating after a divorce. I have been working with singles learning to use online dating sites since 2003 and can make that transition a little less stressful. You should clink this link to set up a consultation with me and get ready to date again.

I want to thank Debbie for sharing her article, book, and coaching site with my readers. I encourage you to visit her site and seek her council. She's been there and back in an inspiring way!

Do You Have Financial Secrets?

Since money is the number one reason for fights in many relationships, why don't couples take more time to talk about it both before and after the wedding? The fact is money can be tough to talk about. Suppose you are the one in the relationship with mounting credit card debt and student loans?

Have “The Talk”

How do you tell your significant other about your money troubles without making them run for the hills? How can you start a life with someone with this big secret? Eventually they will find out and it could be a deal breaker. Take the time to discuss your finances, your current debt situation, as well as any future goals you may have. Here are some topics to get you started;

·         What is your current financial situation? Ideally this is something you should discuss prior to tying the knot. Understanding where your partner is financially will ensure their finances don't become an issue later on. If you haven't already assessed each others financial situation take the time to ask! This is one of those situations where honesty is the best policy and you should be completely candid about your situations. Make sure to disclose any debts, savings, and income. Finding the answer to this question will help you develop a plan for your finances together.

·         What are your financial goals? This is fun! You can certainly dream big about your future together just be realistic and make sure it fits with your earning potential and other goals. Decide together, and think about the big picture. Do you want to have children? Buy a house? Dabble in investments? Retire early? Pay off your current debt?

·         What do you know about handling finances? This is an important question! One or both of you will need to manage your finances. Being in charge of household finances is not always easy and is a big responsibility. Decide who will take the lead or agree to do this together. There are some of us who have never balanced a checkbook, paid a bill, had a credit card, or even thought about creating a budget. So if this is you take some time to get involved and understand the process. If your partner has some knowledge let them guide you. If you both are new to this ask for help! There are tons of resources available to make managing your finances easier.

Resources to Get You on Track

Here are just a few resources located on the CareOne site to help you learn about managing your finances, plan a budget, and various calculators to help you determine where you stand. Try out some of these resources and learn how to communicate about finances with your significant other, so you can live happily ever after!

·         The CareOne Spending Journal

·         The CareOne Budget Planning Guide

·         Various Calculators

The bottom-line is, communicate, communicate, communicate. If you are serious and thinking about sharing your life with someone, have the talk, develop a plan and commit to fixing the problem together with both parties in the loop.

Have you ever been blindsided by someone you were seriously dating when it came to money?

Bio:

Suzanne Cramer

Suzanne is a certified credit counselor and a Social Media Specialist for CareOne Debt Relief Services. Suzanne writes for Divorce, Debt and Finances and A Straight Talk on Debt. Follow Suzanne on Twitter @SuzanneCramer1 and @AskCareOne where she shares her insights on divorce and managing your finances.

It's the Little Things

By Sean Kohoe contributing author

This Article appeared first in the following article

http://jerseygirlsmag.com/archives/2657

I wanted to share a little relationship advice for women from my friend and fellow blog coIumnist Sean Kohoe. Sean and I met on twitter and developed a fast friendship as we shared our thought about dating and relationships. Single Ladies I think he is a doll and quite the catch. I like his insight on dating and realtionship from the male perspective and I know you will enjoy and benifit from it as I have.

I've read enough articles to know that men should always do the “little” things in order to keep things fresh, new and exciting.  Where in the RBOD (Rule Book of Dating) does it say, Rule 35.1A: Only Men Must Adhere To The Little Things? That's like stating Rule 68.9B: Women Must Cook and Clean is fact!  However, if that's the agreement you have, then yes, he better step up to the plate and reciprocate! I will also give MOST women credit that they are generous and nurturing creatures by nature so the little things come easy to them.  But let's be honest and fair, it takes two to tango and if you are not willing to put your dancing shoes on for me, I'm certainly not going to lace mine up so willingly.  Here are a few suggestions to meet your end of the bargain in keeping the romance and relationship where you want it to be:

Stay The Course

If you have been sweet from the get go, don't change now just because you “have” him.  If you are a sexual diva in the boudoir, keep it up or elevate your game to the next level.  We may not be so quick on the uptake at times but the drop off in the norm we can detect.  Consistency, not just maintenance, is a critical key in making a relationship go from good to great! The only roller coaster you should be riding is the one in Disney or in your own private amusement park!

Give Him A Surprise

Just like you love flowers unexpectedly or a note in your lunch or on your car, what makes you think we wouldn't like that either? Leave a note by his keys (sprayed with your perfume) about how much you can't wait to see him later or that you have a few naughty things you want to try later and hope he's okay with that .  Call him at work and say I know you have been working so hard lately, let me take you out to your favorite restaurant or sports bar so you don't miss the game either! If you want to hit a home run and have your ears ringing for all the right reasons the next day or week, these things are can't miss softballs I'm tossing to you!

Listen, Listen, Listen

One of woman's biggest complaints is that men do not listen enough.  Here is your chance to show us that you listen too.  By listening, I don't mean putting that certain event or date in the vacuum sealed vault in your head for safe keeping and then unload it as ammunition! Maybe your husband or boyfriend wants a new tool, sweatshirt or accessory for his car.  Maybe he's been wanting a guy's night out but respects your time together and doesn't want to rock the boat.  Well, captain my captain, take the wheel and make it happen! If it's something of value, put some funds aside for his gift or tell him you will meet him halfway.  If it's a tame night of debauchery with the fellas, call his best buddy up and say he needs this and you would love for him to organize it.  Not only will your significant other appreciate this endlessly, you will raise yourself many levels in his friends eyes and that is never a bad thing!

Make Quality Time Count

Who doesn't love good old fashioned quality time together? When no one else is around and the world doesn't matter? Be just as attentive to him as you want him to be to you, if he doesn't do so already.  Sometimes couples fall into a rut of complacency.  Nip that in the bud as soon as you recognize it. Let him know how much it means to you to be with him in those quiet moments or how good it feels to have someone like him in your life to share in these special times, even if it is after a decade of marriage.  We may not admit to liking that “sappy” stuff but in our hearts, we truly do appreciate those sentiments.  Being cute, cuddly and affectionate at home and showing the world how much you love, admire and respect your man when you are out together makes us feel like kings!

In the grand scheme of things, if your expectations are not being met, you may have to be the one to start that dialogue and have a heart to heart.  The little things do go a long way in both our rule books whether you think so or not.  In the game of love, it's not about wins and losses but about what you do when you show up to play.  What was your plan? How did you feel when it all came together? If you felt like the strategy didn't work, go back and review the tapes to see where changes could be made or maybe have a team meeting. 

I always tell my partner we are a team and for us to succeed, we need to be good to each other and be on the same page on most of the really important things.  It's okay to disagree because no one is always right but if you screw up, own up to it.  It's not about feeling vindicated but about respecting my feelings.  I'll respect you more if you apologize instead of sweeping it under the already lumpy carpet from your previous missteps instead of thinking I won't notice. 

In an ideal relationship, you get back what you put into it.  Don't sit back and make excuses that he doesn't do those things for me.  Maybe he did do them for you and you just took them for granted and didn't realize it.  Men have a lot of expectations placed on them and when we don't meet said expectations, we look like the bad guys.  In some cases, yes, it has happened. But before you go pointing fingers, remember for every finger you point, there are always three pointing right back at you.  Now go out there and win one for the Gipper! 

I think this it sound relationship advice for women and agree with Sean's ideas about giving people the kind of love attention you would like to recieve.

If You want a loving partner become a loving partner ~ #DatingDiva

Sean Kehoe

Life Coach and Sweet Client Sean writes relationship advice for women from a male's point of veiw.

Sean is a Life Coach and looking for The" One".

He is a contributing author for JerseyGirls Magizine/ What Men really thinK.

Married and happily ever after they met online

Online Dating Success Stories 

The Story of The Mr. and Mrs.

“Really?!  Oh wow! Was it E-Harmony or Match?That’s the usual response that we receive when we mention that we met online. Meeting online has become quite common, I could think of three (make that four) couples that we know personally that have met online. No We didn’t meet on either of those sites. We Met on a niche site and neither of us were premium members. Our is not one of those typical online dating success stories. Ours is different than most.

I don’t quite remember how we “connected”. What I remember for sure was that I was not looking for romance. He wasn’t either. Simply said, he just seemed like a genuinely nice guy. That’s what I saw in his profile pica. Yes. He was tall, dark, and handsome.  For whatever reason, I didn’t see that. Yet.  He didn’t see me as his future wife either. We were buddies, literally. We exchanged countless instant messages.  It felt so good chatting with him. It was comfortable. It was easy, in a good way.  We chatted about church, life, work, school, and relationships. He heard all about my adventures in the childcare industry.  I heard all about his hour and a half commutes to work in his 1994 Chrysler New Yorker after he graduated college.

After failed attempts at online dating, I swore I would never do it again. That’s what I told my mom. “As a matter of fact, I won’t even talk to guys online if I don’t know them in person. Well….there is one guy, but he’s different. We don’t even talk on the phone. We are just friends. I feel comfortable still talking to him.”

There’s that word again “different”.  We eventually started talking on the phone, but it was unremarkable. His voice was attractive and strikingly deep. Conversation was okay, but it was nothing more or nothing less. Then, something happened. I needed a date to a wedding. It dawned on me. I should ask him. I figured this was probably the safest way to meet someone that I have never met. More importantly, I knew that I could be comfortable with him as my date. It’s weird how I knew, but I did. Truthfully, I did not really think that he would drive two and a half hours to where I lived to be my date, but I was pleasantly surprised when he said yes.

Our first meeting was just what I expected it to be. It was fun and it was comfortable. This was different for me, but I still wasn’t seeing the possibilities. He didn’t either.

Apparently, we were the only ones. While walking by our friend’s four year old daughter, she asked, “Kristy, is that your husband?” I was stunned, but managed to apologize profusely to him. My Pastor’s wife stopped me while in line for cake and said,”Oooh Kristy, he is cute!” My Pastor stopped me the next day to point out how nice he was and how impressed he was with his sense of humor, easygoing nature, good job, and nice car. He was impressed with how he dressed too. However, in my mind he was just my friend. I was starting to see that he was handsome. Yes, he had a great career. Yes, he drove a convertible Mustang. I was happy for him, but that was the extent of it.

                Then, he accompanied me to another wedding. The wedding was beautiful, but once again nothing went as planned. Knowing that he was a lover of jazz, I took him to “the best jazz spot” in the area. There was a country singer performing that night. We were hungry. They served no food. It was such a crazy day! I noticed something though that changed my opinion of him forever. I noticed he kept me calm. He kept me happy. He kept me laughing. We had the absolute best time together. The light bulb went off. “I could use some of that in my life.” I thought to myself.

A couple months later The Mr. invited me to come watch his jazz band play at a local festival. At this point I was one outing short of becoming head over heels over this man. I will never forget praying to God on the way to this festival. “Lord, I can’t deal with this anymore. If this is your will, please let something happen quickly. If not, please let these feelings go away. I do not want our friendship to be ruined over my feelings. In Jesus’ name.”

This day was not much different than any other time we were together. Though it was cold and rainy, we had an amazing time. His band was incredible and I could not keep my eyes off that handsome and talented saxophone player.  Afterwards we walked around the park and grabbed a bit to eat. It was a perfect date, but it wasn’t a date. However, there was this woman dining in the same restaurant who saw things differently. She had obviously had a bit much to drink, but she was fixated on us.  On her way out of the restaurant, she stopped at our table and said, “You two must be on a date. Is it your first date? Third date?” My heart jumped. I waited to see what he would say, but he wasn’t saying anything. However, I could tell by his expression that he wasn’t turned off by the idea either. This was good enough for me. “It’s our first date”, I said. She walked away. We laughed it off and continued our day.  Two days later, The Mr. asked me to be his girlfriend. About a year and a half after that, he became my fiancé. Nine months after that, I became his Mrs. that was about a year and half ago.  God continues to lead us. The Mr. Once said that he would never be in a long distance relationship, and truthfully I never thought that we would end up together. However, here we are loving every minute of our perfectly different happily ever after.  I once asked The Mr. what changed his mind about dating someone long distance. He responded with, “…I didn’t want to lose the chance of being with you.”

I’m so grateful that he chose me.

 Online Success Stories from my twitter friend @4betterworse) 

You can read more about their life on her blog (www.themrsonline.blogspot.com)

in you would like to be added to our online dating success stories  send me an e-mail to staff@datingdivasites.com

We Could publish your story next!

You can read a few short thank you and success stories from other daters here.

If would like some help starting your online dating success story you can go to Talk To Liz Here and set up a session and I can help you choose the best site for your dating goals.

I want to add you to my online dating success stories but first you need to get started!

I have had a week long talk about finding the ONE! You know the one you can't live without.

The one that melts your heart and you just know they are THE one. People often say to me they just haven't found the one.  I say I hope you aren't looking for just one because that would be a needle in a haystack. There are a couple billion people on Earth right now. Do you really think there is just one that would be perfect for you. I have been married to the same person for 26 years but I know that I could have found love with someone else had things not worked out. I would not trade him for anyone ONE. I dedicated my life to him and our children. We have a sweet beautiful relationship and I can't imagine life without him. I could have done the same thing with another person that was simalar to him. I could have worked out a sweet beautiful life with someone else that was dedicated to me if I worked at it too.

 In the right time in both of your lives, you will attract the one or one of the people that you will fall in love with. You will meet and know this is the right time and the perfect person  and they will feel the same way about you. Check the society pages of the newspaper.You will see that there are examples of people who found someone that was perfect for them. I don't believe there is just one person you could be happy with but I can tell you this. When you get to a happy good place in your life, you will attract your type. A person that is drawing to you and is their type. It's as simple as that. 

We all long to belong to someone and bonded closely which is part of human nature. The timing has to be right. You need to get your mind in a great place. Love and get to know what a beautiful person you are and leave some room in it to meet someone. If you work 50 hours a week and spend all your free time with some isolating hobby, your chances of meeting the right one will just not happen very easily. Make some room in your life. 

If you think you are ready to find the one but can't figure out what's stopping you. You could use a friend or an unbiased opinion on why not. There are blocks in people's lives that stop them from finding and letting themselves fall for someone.  Your friends can often tell you what it is they see. seek out a professional if you don't know how to let down that wall. There is someone for everyone. Not just one in a million. You can find love when you out your self up to love.

A Similar Post on finding the One From my Dear Friend Sean

Go to my Met Liz and set up a time and let me help you get to the bottom of why you can't get that one. I've helped countless singles get to that place in their life and I want you to be next.

Elizabeth Maness 

 And for goodness sakes don't forget my valentines drawing for a host of gifts to get you started finding the ONE. The gifts are books that i recommend to clients and love. Each of which can set you off in the right direction of finding the healthy relationship you deserve. 

Go take a look at my prize list! by clicking here.

Bridgette Reas

Body Image – Style Expert Bridgette Raes

Body  Image and how we perceive ourselves can alter how others see us too. Did you realize that? If you don't like your body people can tell. If you feel good about yourself people will pick up on that too. Women seem to be told by the fashion industry what their shape should and should not look like and we are always moaning over how we just don't have that shape that's perfect.This leads us to feel unattractive. One thing I have learned through my life and my job is there is someone for everyone. No matter what you look like there is someone who will be attracted to you. The Key though is loving yourself first, after that finding someone who loves you too is simple.

My awesome friend Bridgette Raes and her co-host Amanda Jornov did a great radio show about body image, with guest, Wendy Shaker, the Author of "The Fat Girl's Guide To Life".   Wendy Shaker explains how to  love the body you have now (not the one you wish was smaller) and how to be comfortable in your own skin, with power and a sense of humor. I loved the show and have admired the work of  Bridgette Raes for some time now. (See The Link at the Bottom of this post to listen in and learn to love you just the way you are .)

Bridgette is a style expert and can guide you to fashion made for your body type and taste. Not only does she help you figure out your body type but will show you  the clothes that flatter that type. She has a cool app that will even tell you where to buy these clothes. I've had a great time playing with it and recommend you try it for yourself. Go HERE  to  her site and play with her Virtual Style Guide. Knowing how to dress yourself can go a long way to improve your body image. Bridgette can help you there.

 Body Image – What I Learned

I have a secret to tell you about how I learned a lot about body image. I struggled with my body image as most women have through out my life. Worried I had too much of this and not enough of that. I believed I needed to be thin to be attractive and fought to be that way but still never liked what I saw. In 2003 when I started my online marketing company I began working with niche dating sites. I looked at all the niches and noticed one for Big Beautiful Women. I thought what is this? I have no idea how to market this niche. I thought who will be there?  Just women who are over weight and can't find a date? No way am a marketing that one because those members won't meet a match and it wouldn't be fair. I was encouraged to market it and told it was a profitable niche. I went to the site looked through the members and to my surprise there were as many men as women there. What? I though men only wanted skinny women? Nope, not the case. That was an eye-opening day for me. I built a BBW dating site called Big-Beautiful-Dates.com and had more men than women join. I had men paying me to get the chance to meet a Big Beautiful Woman. To This day it is one of my most profitable sites.

Love The Body You Have Now

You see when you except yourself and own what you look like, you are attractive and appealing. You will meet a person who thinks you look amazing. Try to enjoy the shape you have and embrace what makes you who you are.Work on having a positive body image. God gave you the body you have, enjoy it. What a boring world it would be if we all looked the same and were attracted to the same type of person.  That is just not how people are and I don't care what billboard or magazine told you different. Love yourself and you will find someone else who will feel the same way.

Go Listen Ladies!!! Where Are You Going In That? Love Your Body…Right Now 01/06 by BridgetteRaes | Blog Talk Radio

Single On Valentines Day

5 Things To Do This Year
By Janet Blair Page, PhD,
Author of Get Married This Year: 365 Days to “I Do”

I was contacted by an agent for  Janet Blair Page and asked if I would review her book and post her press release. I think this is a great book to release at a time of year where we all set new goals and reflect on the past year and what we can do to improve the next. I’m so excited to receive my copy from her and will be giving away a copy in my Valentines Giveaway contest soon. If you want to get a ring on that finger this book is a great help guide!

1. Stop whining

Lost and rotten relationships are last year’s mistakes now. You have or haven’t erred. Or the only thing you may have learned is who to avoid. It’s time to curb the learning curve and stop analyzing your love past. There is no need for review, regret, or remorse. You have amassed enough object lessons in 2011. It’s time to get going.

Place a moratorium on blame. Make a new year’s vow to set break time from the friends and family who help keep you mired in guilt and sorrow.

How terrible they were or pitiful you were is yesterday’s news. Re-injury by reliving your nightmares only gets in the way of your dreams.

And even more importantly cease fire on all negative self-talk. Your biggest enemy is you. Mental reviews may be your biggest problem. You are the ultimate captive audience the one from whom you can neither run nor hide.

2. De-clutter

You may not be in a relationship or dating a possible dream mate but at least you can be at the start — facing forward not backward or anchored in a go nowhere relationship. No baggage is a good beginning. So eliminate deadwood as a new year’s gift.

If the man of the moment is not someone you would marry or who would marry you (and, yes, you do know the difference), dump him now. You’ll be less depressed. Ask yourself “do I feel better about myself when I’m with him, is he _______ (your top 3 and only 3 requirements for a husband), and does he seem interested in marriage or at least on the path to eating out of your hand”?
If so, good – proceed.
If not please say goodbye.

3. Re-order your schedule and your life

Take a long look at your time commitments and plans for the year ahead. Are they to please others or yourself? Do they further finding the love of your life and/or dating someone who might be? Whose life are you leading?

Remove time gobblers and anything you dread that truly is not necessary.

And keep your regrets brief. A simple “I am sorry I won’t be able to keep that appointment but thank you” can keep you out of trouble with anyone r anything that that doesn’t align with your priorities.

At least three times a week schedule meeting opportunities that will make the man of your dreams that much closer by no more than three degrees of separation. You need to be where a number of single eligible men might show up, someone who knows single, eligible men will be or someone who might know single, eligible men will be. No other venues will do. Your fairy tale is possible but he won’t drop from the living room ceiling. You don’t know where he’s coming from but you must network and have some visibility to let him find you.

If your new year’s schedule looks bleak, take heart — a blank slate can be a good thing. Use the time to schedule preparation time for the future you want to have — take a class that is feel good, achieves a personal goal, or provides opportunity to meet eligible men or hunting buddies. Write into your schedule what will make you better, fitter, prettier, more informed, social adept, or happy-

4. Visualize your dream

This is your movie. Write your script. Replace thoughts and feelings of what you don’t have with thoughts and feelings about your life and love relationships, as you want them to be. Feel how good it will feel to have life as you envision it and the man you want to love. Experience the joy — why wait when your images of the future can make you smile now.

Remove yourself from any who have a pathetic view of you or your future and draw closer your fans and supporters who can see you as you want to be imagined: happily and successfully in love and married. Their energy can help when yours falters and they can be your scouts on the look for your future mate.

5. Take action

There are steps to making a dream a reality. If you want to be with your dream mate in a year, you need to set your goal and your schedule to match it now.

Plan now for having the time to be married which means time for courting and time for dating and probably means sacrificing something in your current agenda. Even if you only eliminate the sitting around and sulking time, some Facebook, work, TV, obsessive texting, or spurious reading has to go. You need to schedule and protect time to date, to meet that date, and be date ready. Your mood and appearance scream either “I would like to meet you” or “don’t even think of approaching me” and if you fall in the grey area, you are losing. Don’t leave home without your friendliest version of yourself.

You need to dress your attitude and yourself not only for a date but to get a date. You have the double pleasure of looking and feeling good and having more draw, so go for it. Looks aren’t everything. I’ve seen many the woman with a sparkling personality who could make a greater beauty seem like wallpaper. But some attention to looks signifies the desire to attract — a primal basic of mating. You don’t have to knock yourself out, just don’t be scaring away potential suitors.

Planning is the key and planning should start day one of the year. One thing you know is that what you were doing last year didn’t work. This is your year for change. If love is what you want and are missing, other goals and obligations stay on your radar but he becomes thetop of your agenda.

© 2011 Janet Blair Page, PhD author of Get Married This Year: 365 Days to “I Do”

Author Bio
Janet Blair Page, PhD, author of Get Married This Year: 365 Days to “I Do”, is a psychotherapist with more than thirty years of experience in private practice in New York and Atlanta. She teaches at Emory University and has been in the New York Times, Glamour and on CNN, FOX, Good Morning America, and The Early Show. She lives in Atlanta, Georgia.

For more information please visit http://www.drjanetpage.com

You can Contact me Liz at the following link contact me and set up a meeting http://www.vcita.com/dating.diva

Or sign-up and have your name entered into a drawing to win a free copy of Janet’s Book and A free 30 Minute session! Click here<~~~~~~~~~~

Free dating advice comes from me to you all year but for Christmas I have something special for you. I am a Dating Expert Advice writer at DatingWithoutDrama.com and we have a gift for all our single friends and fans.

I want you to go pick up your present and have a Merry Christmas from all the writers and coaches knowing we are cheering for you and your dating success in 2012! These gifts are usually sold as part of our business but we are giving them to you are loyal fans for free. Merry Christmas!

DatingWithoutDrama.com Gift  And Your Free Consultation with Me the DatingDiva40 "coax"

  Yes that's right we can talk about how to get your dating started out on the right foot this year with free dating advice. Each of you can get  one 30 minute chat and profile review…..just set your time between now and January 1. YourGiftFromMe . 

Let's get you Started out right this year with hope for a new and exciting adventure in dating and relating with FREE Dating advice.

Get your free dating advice and schedule a meeting with me. I'm so excited about a new way for us to talk and review your profiles. I want to expand my business and get to know my clients in a more personal way this year. I will still answer your e-mails and help you as we kick off the New Year with new ways to help you get the most out of dating.

If you don't have a Sweetie to kiss this New Years I want to see what we can do to change that.

My Client list is 10,000 and growing and I think we can make the most out of the free dating advice sessions and gifts that I'm sending to you. I can't wait to talk to you and help you get you love life on track. I have been lucky to meet so many other professionals in social media circles this past year. If I can't help you get to the next level in dating I will set you put with other coaches and consultants that can.

Online Dating Sites

When most people think of branding, products like Clorox, clean and fresh, or cheerio’s, its heart healthy, come to mind. Branding is about the image my friends and can be applied to your dating sites profile as well. What is your profile telling the world?

If your profile resembles an ASPCA commercial featuring a certain Sheryl Crowe song which elicits a wince and change the channel reflex, you are doing it wrong. Not that there's anything wrong with laying out your life story but perhaps you should save the fact that you are still mourning the death of Mittens the cat's death for a later date. Everyone has a history, some good, some bad, and some a little blurry.  When you are branding yourself to the world think about what your profile says to the world.

Many people are sad or even angry to be single but no one is searching for those traits in a potential match. If you read a bio that says" I have been single for 7 years and I'm "bleeping" tired of it. Is there not one decent human left on this planet?" Chances are you are going to “change" the channel to something a little lighter and uplifting.

A well written dating profile should read like a sitcom or a movie of the week. Let your audience know what to expect, get their attention without giving away too much of the plot, be engaging and entertaining. If you can do this, you will have people interested enough to come back and "tune" in to see what this show is all about. That’s branding your profile. You send out a message that attracts attention and leaves people interested in coming back. Try this approach to your dating sites profile.  By brand yourself with a positive image,  you can attract the best response.

If you would like to find a dating site that caters to special interest you might enjoy

our List of sites in our Tag Cloud or go to the link  sites we love. 

I have worked with over 50,000 people helping guide them to a site I believe would help them in their search for a relationship.

With 3 million members we can find a perfect match for you. Brand your online dating profile and let's get you out there and dating.

Liz

CEO and Founder

DatingDivaSites

S.D. McKenzie, or “Coach Steph,” as she is often called, is a busy woman.  After the founder of What The Love™ Relationship and Single Life Coaching satisfies a tweet-starved audience of thousands via social media outlet, Twitter, she quickly begins outlining a new class for singles; however, her day has just begun, as client appointments, media appearances and teaching business and marketing will also fill the hours of her standard 14-hour day.

When this successful entrepreneur and award-winning marketer was asked why she became a relationship coach, Coach Steph, replied, “I coach because I spent 9 years and 6 months longer in a relationship than I should’ve have, and I don’t anyone else to make the same mistake.”

Coach Steph is also the director of marketing and resident relationship coach for new “relationship” site, MeetJuliet.com

On November 25, 2011, Coach Steph released her first book entitled, “The Book of Bye!” The book, which was written in one of her “less-busy” weekends, was created to encourage daters consider the little things as possible precursors to big things that can insist that you mend or end the current relationship.

The book offers 12 little things (along with a few bonus chapters) that could become a detriment to any relationship.  A short read, it promises to entertain and to educate its readers with real-life scenarios, snappy rhetoric and a large dose of the charm that Coach Steph’s clients, Twitter followers and supporters have come to expect.

The book will be available through Amazon.com in both print and Kindle/tablet versions, and retails for $9.97 USD.

For bookings or appearances, contact Robin Hunt, Public Relations Director, via email at bookings@whatthelove.org.

For more information about WhatTheLove™ visit www.whatthelove.org.ng>Goodbye Can Change Your Life!

Related Blogs

There is someone for everyone I believe. Specialty online dating sites can help you find an online community of like-minded singles where you can find a perfect match. Thanks to the internet it is easier to find someone perfect for you these days. I was challenge by a twitter Zombie account to find a red-head that was into rot and zombies. I haven’t found her but I know she exists and will not stop looking until I prove my point. The tighter the niche the more happy my customers are. Are you looking for that Red-headed Zombie into rot? A Blonde that loved to golf? A Sports fanatic just like you? If you want to find a person in a niche, online dating sites  can help you in your search.

Niche dating sites are very popular in the online dating industry. When other main sites are struggling to keep their numbers niche sites were growing. Niche dating sites are sites that have a focus group or special interest. My top special interest groups are plus size singles, uniform singles, and ethnic dating. I work with Tangowire dating community and they have 70 niche sites to choose from. If you are a golfer, animal lover,tall single, or an avid sailor, they have a community for singles interested in dating in that group. Almost every religious group is represented within niche dating sites too.
How do you find these sites or sites like them? You can go to a search engine and type the name of the niche, followed by the words dating sites and you will come up with a list of sites that fall within that group. Almost every large dating site has a niche group that they cater too as well. Most allow you to sign-up for free to see what you think.
I believe niche dating gives singles that are interested in online dating a kick-start when it comes to making a compatible match. You start with a common interest that is important to you and can build from there. The fun features are endless these days too. So sites will let you sign-up using your Twitter or Facebook account.

If you are interested in online dating and need help finding a niche try my search formula. If you still can’t seem to find what you are looking for you may contact me by sending an e-mail to Liz@DatingDivaSites.com. If I don’t manage a site with the niche you are interested in I will be happy to help you find a great niche site with another company I trust. Matchmaking is my business and hobby. If you get on a site and need help you may contact me with any questions you have. It makes me happy to know I helped get you started on the right path in the online dating world in a sea of online dating sites.

Stop Waiting~Start Dating

A List of my favorite:

BBW Dating Sites

Military Dating Sites

Interracial Dating Sites

Latino Dating Sites

Single Parent Dating Sites

If I can help with online dating sites contact me DivaDatingandRelating set up a time and we can meet via video chat or send me an e-mail at liz@datingdivasites.com

When I progressed another year over 40 this past week I reposted my favorite article about Helen Mirren (66) being voted ‘Body of the Year,” beating out celebs like Jennifer Lopez and Pippa Middleton. I titled the post "40 and getting better all the time". This title and the birthday wishes sent by all my 40 and fabulous twitter friends, brought up posed and interesting question. Is 40 the new 20?

Men and Women in this age group live full and active similar to in their 20s.  We are still doing things that once were reserved for younger people.  My fabulous Twitter friend John D. Boyle (@BrandFlair) suggested that I create a list explaining why 40 is the new 20 so here it is.
1. Marriage

People in their 40s are now getting married for the first time in their 40s.  It is no longer a check box on societies list of things to do in our 20s.

2.  Children

People are having children in their 40's. Thanks to modern medicine, our biological alarm clocks don't chime the alert at 29 anymore. There is no longer anything unusual about a 40 something having their first child and people no longer assume it's a grandchild.

3. Retirement

Thanks to our economy and recent recession, many of our 401ks look like 201ks. As a result we are thinking about the longevity of our careers and sometimes starting a new one. We know retirement is many years away and have to plan for it like we are 20.
4. Dating Ritual

We now date like 20-somethings. The over 40 crowd are joining dating sites like never before. I'm in the online dating industry and have seen a rise in that age bracket steadily over the past 8 years.

5. Behavioral Consequences

As a result of our dating behavior we are the fastest rising group of people contracting STD. Not proud of that one but sounds like a 20 something to me.
6.  Dating “Freshmen”

Once a social shocker, we now date people in their 20s and no one even raises an eyebrow.  This was more acceptable in the past for men in their 40s but now it’s not unheard of for a woman the same age to date a 20 something. In fact, many men in their 20s are very interested in dating women over 40. The first time someone that age showed interest in me I was appalled and insulted. I have children that age so people in their 20s are children to me. Now, I just politely decline and smile and think, hey, I still got it!
7. Leading Ladies

Hollywood once only used women over 40 to play matronly roles but that no longer holds true. The sexy leading lady is often over 40 and still drawing crowds at the box office. Jennifer Anniston and Haley Berry are anything but old-maids? Men have always had a slight advantage in Hollywood but now women are enjoying longer careers in entertainment too.
8. Old School

The economy is forcing many people in their 40s into going back to college to start new careers or fluffing up that résumé after being let go due to downsizing.
9. First Homestead

40 somethings are not only getting married and becoming parents for the first time but believe it or not many are also are buying a home for the first time.
10. Stage Diving

We are still rocking like 20 year olds. Sheryl Crow, over 40 and is still looking great and rocking her fans. According to John D. Boyle, he and his dad band (The Daddyz) are back together and jamming hard. When he has a gig near me I’m going! Oh yes, we are still cool! My twenty-something daughter told me so last week and I choose to believe her.
11. Back to the Nest

Another side effect to the down economy is that many 40 somethings are having to move back home with mom and dad or borrow money from them like a 20 somethings. Not me yet, but I was close a time or two.

12. Party On Wayne

We still party like it’s 1999…um…1989.  42-year-old blogger AmericanCurvyGirl and I still go out club hopping on occasion. We laugh, drink, and dance the night away just like we did in our 20's. This just wasn't done in the days of our parents.

With all the changes in modern living 40 somethings are a lot like 20 somethings from decades past. I declare it and @BrandFlair agrees. 40 is the new 20!

From my 12Most.com Article original post Elizabeth Maness

If  you are single and over 40 try my site for modern love ContemporaryDates.com With all the great features you can meet and greet other hip 40's or date freshman if that's your thing.

Ever wished you could find the perfect man ? Someone who wanted to fulfill your ever wish or dream. A prince of a man who wanted nothing more than to make you happy. Are you so jaded after dating for so many years or after a nasty break-up that you doubt that such a man exists. Have you ever stopped to think that he maybe like Santa Claus in a way.  You stop believing in the magic so he no longer exists. You stopped writing to him and searching for him in the sky on Christmas Eve. Maybe you can’t find him because you no longer believe he is out there.

Bitterness can blind you if you let it . It can make you lose the ability to see someone delightful because you are too busy looking for the flaws. Disillusionment can turn you into an angry old spinster of a character. Rather certain Mr Right would be frightened off by her too. Maybe Mr Wonderful needs you to sit in his lap and tell him what it is you want and believe that he wants you to have it. You may wake up and find everything you had wished for right before your eyes. If you can still believe that Mr Right exists like you believed that Santa Claus did when you were a child.

“Love means to commit oneself without guarantee, to give oneself completely in the hope that our love will produce love in the loved person. Love is an act of faith, and whoever is of little faith is also of little love.” – Erich Fromm (1900-1980)

If You would like help finding Mr Right I can guide you to singles sites and help you get started with a new way to search!

Try Sites We Love

If You need help or have concerns you can set up a consulting session with me

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What is Love?

How do you know when It's real love? Can you really tell if someone is the one? What is the formula to measure a suitor by to be certain that it is more than physical attraction or smoke and mirrors.

I define true love and a person worthy of real love as a plus in one's life. This person adds value and happiness to you, even after the first stage of hearts and flowers pass and you really know who they are, what they want out of life, and they still have your admiration. There is nothing selfish about true love. You want nothing but the best for that person. You put their needs and happiness above your own. I only realized what true love was the day I held my  new-born child in my arms. I also knew how very much I was loved by my parents and God at the moment. True love puts self last and is filled with joy from the happiness of their beloved. Unlike romantic love our children don't have to earn or deserve this love.

Love that is real and will last is love and devotion that is deserved and earned. You can love someone who does not deserve that love and trust. All of us have seen relationships like that. Love is a feeling of devotion and attraction. To act upon this feeling is a choice that we all have. love that is real and worth it adds more joy and happiness than sorrow. Simple as that.

Love is work. To be in a loving and productive relationship will take work, effort, and investment of time. The pay off will be a relationship that is cherished and adds value to your life.  You want to be the best person you can be thanks to this love. You can know someone is truly in love with you when they live their life for you and your happiness too. No one is ever this self less all the time .  A good guide for measuring a relationship is am I happy with this person and do I make this person happy? Simple when you think about it that way.

1 Corinthians 13:4–8a

40 and Dating

40 and dating can be tough. I would like to introduce you to a new Blog that I've read for a while now. I've read the post from this talented writer and watched her slowly turn the corner from bitter to hopeful.  This post is dedicated to the men and women who find themselves starting over at 40, single, and wondering if things will ever be okay again.40 and Dating

witnessing the shift

I am in a completely different place than I've ever been before:  I feel empowered, strong and clear in a way that I probably haven't ever before in my life.

Let me explain…

I've been using creative visualization, conscious intent, meditation and gratitude to heal my heart, transform my energy and get my head on straight. And, despite my deep desire for partnership, I am finally un-stuck to the outcome. In other words, I'm detached. I've set my intent, asked the universe to deliver and let go of the need to control how things manifest.

As it relates to 40 and dating, here's how this shift has affected my mindset:

• I've started to enjoy dating. I go out to meet people and practice leaning back in to my feminine energy. I know that the universe has a spectacular sense of humor, so I just open myself to where the experience might go. I'm laughing about that guy I've seen twice who keeps finding ways to tell me that there's no chance for romance between us…but then wants to see me again. Whatever!
• I trust that I've attracted people into my life for a reason. I stay attuned to whatever that lesson or gift might be.
• I may offer or suggest, but I won't chase. I may lead or invite, but I don't make the first move. I let him manage the accelerator; I'll be ready to brake, if necessary.
• I shrug off rejection. His loss. He's doing me a favor by opting out early. I wouldn't want to be in a relationship with anyone I had to convince to like me. And I'll take whatever gift or lesson I might have learned from the experience. As a good friend wisely said, "When a woman chases men, she always catches the weak ones first."
• I enter situations with no expectations. I'd rather enjoy the surprise. Besides, if a man thinks he has nothing to offer me…well, then, he clearly doesn't.
• I'm flirting with all kinds of men and women in all kinds of situations. I like to flirt; I feel good, and it makes others feel good. It keeps me in touch with my pleasure center.
• I say "yes" more often. I ask for help and accept it. I'm open to support.
• I'm saying "no" to distractions to what I want. As much as my 40-year-old libido would love some satisfaction, I'm just not interested without the rewards of emotional intimacy. I'm holding out for a loving relationship.
• That said, I'm done looking for love. Instead, I've decided to BE love! That way, my equal can find me.
• I know the right man for me will be strong, masculine and forgiving. And, most of all, he will demonstrate through action that he truly and deeply wants to make me happy.
• I am deeply grateful for all the masculine attention I receive. It's wonderful to notice others appreciating me!

Are older women too shy to tell a man no, unless he has protection? Are they thinking that it will spoil the moment?  Too embarrassed? I bet it would be more humiliating getting treated for an STD, not to mention the damage could be permanent, even life threatening! Maybe it would spoil the moment? Not nearly as much as saying not tonight sweetie, I have a herpes flare up. Ouch!!! Or explaining to your partner that you have herpes and umm is he still interested in having a sexual relationship? I’m guessing they would pass. Those things would be way more of a mood killer and a turn off than saying ,”Do You have protection?” I’m so disappointed.

If you are going to date and be sexually active you have to be smart about it. UNPROTECTED sex with a stranger is dumb and dangerous. Yet those older and wiser adults are doing it at an alarming rate according to this study. The result of which is an epidemic of STD reports for the over 40 crowd with women being affected the most. Don’t forget that one of the causes of cervical cancer is now known to be caused  by a virus called HPV  which is sexually transmitted.

I’m climbing down from my soapbox but stories like these are troubling to me to say the least. I want to know why in the world this is taking place ladies and I want changes. Let’s get our act together and act like grown ups. Is 40 the new 20? Oh, a new article about that one will be coming soon.

 Anything worth having is worth the wait.

If you would like to read the article please go to the Herald Sun Older Women Shunning Safe Sex

Guest Post From Bridgette Raes

Every morning I do a quick scan of the news in fashion via Google. It’s often how I pick up a good story worth mentioning on this blog. I find this helpful if I’m either rushed for time or out of ideas of something to post. Today, I actually found two articles so diametrically opposed that I needed to mention both of them.

Helen Mirren voted ‘Body of the Year’

First, according to a poll by People Helen Mirren has been voted ‘Body of the Year’ beating out celebs like Jennifer Lopez and Pippa Middleton. How freakin’ cool is that? I always say that when I am a lady of age and wisdom I want to be Helen Mirren.

I think this is also awesome because it shows that the public is looking at sexy and beautiful in different ways and that it exceeds it being solely about how slim, trim, toned and young you are. Being sexy or hot or attractive is the total package of inner and outer qualities and, I agree with the poll, Helen Mirren’s got it!

Now…on to other news.

After reading that article that gave me a feeling of promise and hope, that society is finally starting to look past youth, perfection and dewy skin as the standard of beauty, I also read a in the NYPost about Teen Queens and how more designers are using 13-year old stars for their ad campaigns. (Snore…again?)

Designers and labels like Marc Jacobs, Miu Miu are utilizing the youth and star power of actresses like Hailee Steinfeld (True Grit) along with sisters Dakota and Elle Fanning for their provocative and suggestive ads. I know, this is hardly a new approach (Hello Brooke Shields for Calvin Klein in the 80′s) but it always irks me and makes me uncomfortable all at the same time, but not for a reason you might think.

Dakota Fanning, 17, in Marc Jacobs’ perfume ad

This has undoubtedly caused a bit of a controversy and some are saying that the ads for fall look more like back-to-school catalogs regardless of the fact that there have been quite a few models who started their career at the same age.

Hailee Steinfeld, 14 in Miu Miu looks like she is wearing her mother’s clothing

While some have argued over the poor judgment in the use of young girls in these ads, I got a kick out of Hailee Steinfeld’s (currently the model for Miu Miu) comment in the article:

“The best part about [the Miu Miu] collection . . . is the fact that it’s so sophisticated — it’s timeless,” she said. “For younger girls like me, it works. It feels appropriate.”

Really Hailee? Timeless? What the heck do you know about timeless?

And, how many of you were shopping for Miu Miu, or Miu Miu level clothing, at 14 years old?

I didn’t think so.

In the NYPost article it, of course, elaborates on the sexualization of young girls and the fact that use of teenagers “hold up adolescent bodies as ideals of womanhood.” Both valid and important points, that we’ve heard oodles of time, but here is my gripe:

Most women really don’t come into their own until they hit their mid-thirties. Some of you younger readers may argue with me and I understand, I would have argued the same point when I was younger, but trust me (not to sound patronizing) one day you will get it. And, admittedly, one day, when I’m rounding the corner to my 50′s and beyond, after I develop even greater wisdom and comfort with myself, I will probably laugh at bit by how much I think I claim to know about myself at the age I am now. Bottom line, with age comes greater wisdom, greater comfort with ourselves and these ads using children are completely dismissive towards that fact. Who in their prime years yearn to be 13, 15 or 17 again? I sure don’t…not even if you handed me a suitcase of money as a trade. I wouldn’t trade a better bottom, perkier boobs or un-crinkled skin around my eyes for all the wisdom and comfort that the years since have offered me. Regardless of the fact that I’m not as comfortable in a bikini or a short skirt as I was at 17, I still feel a lot sexier and comfortable as a woman now than I did back back then. There is just something so sexy about a woman who is comfortable in her body and knows who she is. These juvenile ads miss that point and are missing out on the ability to capitalize on that. Imagine more advertisements celebrated the gorgeousness that comes with just coming into your own as a woman? God, they would be hot, inspirational and well as aspirational.

Yet, advertising dumbs it down and latches on to the most base form of sexuality, an ideal that older women, who are comfortable in their own bodies, care little about. However, these are the same women who are more likely to have the means to plunk down their money on the clothing they’re hawking. Which is why I find these ads so stupidly laughable. Don’t you think much of what makes Helen Mirren sexy (aside from how good she looks in a bikini) is the fact that she comfortably accepts herself and honors it? Do you really think she is pining to be 13 again?

So, while I am mildly sickened by the over sexualization of young girls in grown up advertisements, I’m too bored by the already for it to really register or to rustle my feathers. What I’m more bothered by are advertisers who actually believe that any woman with even a shred of aplomb actually feels at all desirous to be that young again.

Bridgette Raes is the president of Bridgette Raes Style Group, author of the book Style Rx: Dressing the Body You Have to Create the Body You Want and a sought-after spokesperson, style expert and writer for many media outlets including CNN, Good Morning America and Real Simple Magazine. She and her Style Consultants are available worldwide for consultation, in-person or virtually.

This post is a copy of her blog post http://blog.bridgetteraes.com/2011/08/02/helen-mirren-voted-body-of-the-year-meanwhile-designers-using-13-year-olds-in-ad-campaigns/

You need to read this Book girls and boys whether you are in a relationship or single and looking. Barbara arms couples and individuals with the tools you need to have a successful relationship. Communication is key to being happy in any relationship. Without good communication a couple is doomed. I love the 7 keys to a successful relationship that Barbara includes in this book.

1 Communication

2 Trust

3 Forgiveness

4 Intimacy

5 Acceptance

6 Friendship

7 Love

This book is right on target teaching  how to work on a relationship to bring joy and love into your life through acceptance and forgiveness. Barbara has empowered her reads with this inspiring collection of he saids, she saids, and I saids.

And she leaves you with this thought……

“Nothing worth anything ever comes easy”

A relationship that is worth having will take work but will be a blessing throughout your lifetime.

Author Barbara Peters Has a Bachelor Degree of Sociology, Bachelor of Science in Nursing, and a Masters of Science in Counseling, and her passion is working with couples .  She is also the Author of  The Gift Of A Lifetime, Building A Marriage That Last.

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Too Late To Find Your Soulmate: Will This Lie Ever Die?

Recently, I came across an article at Mail Online, a UK lifestyle site which features a section of women interest stories called “Femail.”  The story that caught my eye (and my breath) was called “The Plankton Generation – that’s women who are barely visible and at the bottom of the food chain for romance – just because they’re over 45.”  It was written by a woman, Winifred Robinson, who I would guess to be over 40, simply because she describes herself as “married and out of the dating game for nearly 20 years,” and had come across the blog of a mid 40’s single woman who refers to herself as – -wait for it – -“The Plankton.”

Plankton - any drifting organisms (animals, plants, archaea, or bacteria) that inhabit the pelagic zone of oceans, seas, or bodies of fresh water, and serve as food for fish and other larger organisms. ~ Wikipedia

The Plankton’s blog is one which is dedicated to the lamentations of over 40 women, looking for love. She expresses that, “like the plankton in the ocean, she is barely visible and ‘at the bottom of the food chain for love and relationships’.” Ms. Robinson sees this as a growing concern for many women over 40, and offers several possible reasons why; “middle-aged men are  looking for partners who are far younger than them,” “The opportunities to meet other single people tend to peter out as we move from youth to middle age,” “older women may be missing out on the chance of finding love because, bruised and rejected in earlier relationships, they lack the confidence and persistence to keep dating until they find  a match,” and“Older women may also be scuppering their chances by being too picky.”

For me, I detect a more subtle but primary reason that The Plankton is still single. One that has little to do with the fact that she’s 45 and everything to do with how she views herself at 45. In my opinion, any woman who refers to herself as Plankton and further solidifies her beliefs by dedicating a blog to it, has not only ruined her chances of finding a prince but she can kiss all the frogs good-bye as well. Her beliefs are affecting her actions and expectations and what she is getting in return is a direct result of that.

To be content on seeing oneself as small, weak and insignificant – is to dismiss the beauty and value you bring to the world. I did some digging and discovered that plankton are of extreme importance to our existence; playing a central role in our energy, carbon, and oxygen cycles in life. In fact, “Most of the oxygen we breathe is produced by photosynthetic plankton in our oceans.” ~New World Encyclopedia

At almost 48 years old I am very aware that as I move throughout the world, men notice me. They notice me because the thoughts I have about myself are revealed in the confidence my body language expresses. That’s what they see. And it’s not just me! I see it in 50 something’s, 60 something’s and yes, even 70 something’s, who feel good and practice feeling good about themselves. Those are the behaviors I model. Your outcomes start to change when your idea of yourself starts to change.

Women self sabotage and self destruct by buying into and perpetuating the stereotypical beliefs about women over 40 finding love and marriage. Just look at the way Ms. Robinson from Mail Online chose to end her piece, “So, no matter how much we might all wish it, when it comes to affairs of the heart, for the older single woman, there just isn’t a happy ending every time.” She bought it and now she’s selling it back to you. Otherwise, why would she suggest this is a problem for older women? Isn’t the real truth ladies, that when it comes to affairs of the heart, there’s no age group of woman for which there exists a happy ending every time?

Listen, marriage won’t solve your problems. If you’re not happy with yourself now, that won’t magically happen once you say “I do.” What you now have is a married unhappy you, who now risks poisoning someone else with your unhappiness. My advice: work on you! Work on you from the inside out so that when that lucky guy does come along – he won’t see Plankton when he looks at you. Instead, he’ll see you for the vibrant, confident, 40+ and Fabulous woman you are.

I checked in with my friend, Elizabeth Maness, founder of DatingDivaSites.com, and asked for a little dating insight for the over 40 crowd.  Here’s what Liz had to say…

You are never too old to fall in love

I have read the letters from men and women of many of which are over 40 and find love again. In fact 35 and over are my target market in my business because they are more serious about finding relationships than younger people. Men and women join about 50/50 and most are interested in a long term relationship.

You can become too bitter allow yourself to fall in love again

I also get letters from the broken and bitter, and attitude is everything. They don’t believe they can find love again and they will not. I can’t think of anything attractive about a bitter soul.  Can you? These are the clients that I refer to coaches. They have to heal before they can find a healthy relationship.

Self respect is an attractive feature

Love and respect yourself and you will attract the same from others. There is nothing sexier than a person who has self respect and it shows. People who respect themselves are very attractive and draw attention from people with the same qualities.

For more information on how to live “40+ and Fabulous,” visit http://40plusandfabulous.com

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Online Dating – First Impressions Count Here Too

By Mary Tice on Commentarista

In a world where everyone is connected via Facebook, Twitter, YouTube and more, online dating seems like the best thing since the singles bar. But in a world full of character limits and characterless profiles, how do you make a connection with someone without using old one-liners?

These are actual emails I have received in the last month as a single female using a free online dating site. I have received numerous more in the past, but I will focus on the most current. For the most part, I (like most women I know) ignore them, but occasionally I feel the need to lend a hand to the poor souls who think these lines actually work.

“Is your name Summer? Because your hot as hell.”

Rule #1. If you are trying to make a great first impression, please use proper English and grammar. Smart women like men who know the difference between “your” and “you’re.” I know it takes up two additional characters to add in the apostrophe and “e,” but please, proofread and type as though you attended grade school.

“id love 2 get 2 kno u if u wouldnt object 2 that”

Rule #2. Go back and read Rule #1 again, then add the ability to form full words. (My exact response: “Don’t take this the wrong way as I am sure you are a very nice person, but your message is written like something my 14-year old cousin would send me and it’s not impressive. Sorry.”)

“You with all dim curves and me with no brakes”

Hmm. So you are telling me you are a car? Or that you never get any rest? Ohhhh, I get it, it’s another bad one-liner and you think I will hop into bed with you right now. And BTW, FYI, the only dim thing is your wit.

“You got any sugar for this daddy?”

This came from an older gentleman (and by older I mean he could pass as my grandpa). Now I have dated older men, and by older I mean ten years older (as I am in my twenties). But really, if I can pass as your daughter or granddaughter, I have no desire to date you. Unless you give me cash up front with no touching involved. Ever.

“Be honest. You want me”

Did I email you? No. So I think that what you mean is that you want me. Come on, be honest. Besides, why would I want you when your profile picture is something reminiscent of MySpace glory days? Put a shirt on, get out of your bathroom and keep your hand out of your waistband when you take a photo. Then maybe, just maybe, you can consider finding your way to a decent pick-up line.

“Hello”

Now this isn’t bad writing, it just isn’t enough writing. I appreciate that you decided to send me a message, but at least tell me why you wanted to talk to me. Am I pretty? Are you rich? Did I win a prize? Do I want you? I would almost prefer a bad pick-up line over a simple “hello.” Because in this case the only response you will get back from me is “hello,” and that is only if I bother replying.

Let me show you a good online introduction: “Hi. I’m a 20/30/40-something single guy who thinks you are beautiful and smart, and I would love to meet you for a drink to see if we connect.” Now guys, isn’t that so much more appealing? You haven’t wasted anymore effort in the process and women will be more eager to respond.

Online dating isn’t as hard as it seems. But like most things in life, it takes some effort. People think that because you are hidden behind a computer screen, manners, grammar and common sense mean nothing. Before writing your next email to a potential date, ask yourself if the first impression you will be making is worthwhile or not?

StopwaitingStartDating

A list of my favorite Online Dating sites can be found here

If You need more help with online dating you can contact me and set up a consulting session here

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Robyn Lawley, who wears an Australian size 14, was cast for a ten-page spread for the September addition of the magazine, making her the first full figured model to be featured in the magazine since it started 52 years ago.
In the spread, entitled ‘Belle Curve,’ the Sydney native shows off designs by Australian designers Alex Perry, Willow and Carla Zampatti.

This is not the 22-year-old’s first time in the spotlight: she has made previous appearances in Vogue Italia and Australian Cosmopolitan, and stole the spotlight on the cover of French Elle in April.

Kirstie Clements, the editor for Vogue Australia, called Robyn a “super-duper model,” saying that she was not cast based on her size.
“She’s really beautiful and you have to make the judgement about whether a girl’s special or not, so it really wasn’t about size or to make a statement,” said Clements

Robyn, who now lives in New York City, has spoken publicly about working in an industry dominated by thin figures.

Vogue Australia’s September issue is on sale now. Visit vogue.com.au. for more details

read more: http://www.tntmagazine.com/tnt-today/archive/2011/08/03/first-plus-size-model-in-vogue-australia-pictures.aspx#ixzz1UqPMZXyl

from the blog bbwdatingnow.net

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Every morning I do a quick scan of the news in fashion via Google. It’s often how I pick up a good story worth mentioning on this blog. I find this helpful if I’m either rushed for time or out of ideas of something to post. Today, I actually found two articles so diametrically opposed that I needed to mention both of them.

Helen Mirren voted ‘Body of the Year’

First, according to a poll by People Helen Mirren has been voted ‘Body of the Year’ beating out celebs like Jennifer Lopez and Pippa Middleton. How freakin’ cool is that? I always say that when I am a lady of age and wisdom I want to be Helen Mirren.

I think this is also awesome because it shows that the public is looking at sexy and beautiful in different ways and that it exceeds it being solely about how slim, trim, toned and young you are. Being sexy or hot or attractive is the total package of inner and outer qualities and, I agree with the poll, Helen Mirren’s got it!

Now…on to other news.

After reading that article that gave me a feeling of promise and hope, that society is finally starting to look past youth, perfection and dewy skin as the standard of beauty, I also read a in the NYPost about Teen Queens and how more designers are using 13-year old stars for their ad campaigns. (Snore…again?)

Designers and labels like Marc Jacobs, Miu Miu are utilizing the youth and star power of actresses like Hailee Steinfeld (True Grit) along with sisters Dakota and Elle Fanning for their provocative and suggestive ads. I know, this is hardly a new approach (Hello Brooke Shields for Calvin Klein in the 80′s) but it always irks me and makes me uncomfortable all at the same time, but not for a reason you might think.

Dakota Fanning, 17, in Marc Jacobs’ perfume ad

This has undoubtedly caused a bit of a controversy and some are saying that the ads for fall look more like back-to-school catalogs regardless of the fact that there have been quite a few models who started their career at the same age.

Hailee Steinfeld, 14 in Miu Miu looks like she is wearing her mother’s clothing

While some have argued over the poor judgment in the use of young girls in these ads, I got a kick out of Hailee Steinfeld’s (currently the model for Miu Miu) comment in the article:

“The best part about [the Miu Miu] collection . . . is the fact that it’s so sophisticated — it’s timeless,” she said. “For younger girls like me, it works. It feels appropriate.”

Really Hailee? Timeless? What the heck do you know about timeless?

And, how many of you were shopping for Miu Miu, or Miu Miu level clothing, at 14 years old?

I didn’t think so.

In the NYPost article it, of course, elaborates on the sexualization of young girls and the fact that use of teenagers “hold up adolescent bodies as ideals of womanhood.” Both valid and important points, that we’ve heard oodles of time, but here is my gripe:

Most women really don’t come into their own until they hit their mid-thirties. Some of you younger readers may argue with me and I understand, I would have argued the same point when I was younger, but trust me (not to sound patronizing) one day you will get it. And, admittedly, one day, when I’m rounding the corner to my 50′s and beyond, after I develop even greater wisdom and comfort with myself, I will probably laugh at bit by how much I think I claim to know about myself at the age I am now. Bottom line, with age comes greater wisdom, greater comfort with ourselves and these ads using children are completely dismissive towards that fact. Who in their prime years yearn to be 13, 15 or 17 again? I sure don’t…not even if you handed me a suitcase of money as a trade. I wouldn’t trade a better bottom, perkier boobs or un-crinkled skin around my eyes for all the wisdom and comfort that the years since have offered me. Regardless of the fact that I’m not as comfortable in a bikini or a short skirt as I was at 17, I still feel a lot sexier and comfortable as a woman now than I did back back then. There is just something so sexy about a woman who is comfortable in her body and knows who she is. These juvenile ads miss that point and are missing out on the ability to capitalize on that. Imagine more advertisements celebrated the gorgeousness that comes with just coming into your own as a woman? God, they would be hot, inspirational and well as aspirational.

Yet, advertising dumbs it down and latches on to the most base form of sexuality, an ideal that older women, who are comfortable in their own bodies, care little about. However, these are the same women who are more likely to have the means to plunk down their money on the clothing they’re hawking. Which is why I find these ads so stupidly laughable. Don’t you think much of what makes Helen Mirren sexy (aside from how good she looks in a bikini) is the fact that she comfortably accepts herself and honors it? Do you really think she is pining to be 13 again?

So, while I am mildly sickened by the over sexualization of young girls in grown up advertisements, I’m too bored by the already for it to really register or to rustle my feathers. What I’m more bothered by are advertisers who actually believe that any woman with even a shred of aplomb actually feels at all desirous to be that young again.

Bridgette Raes is the president of Bridgette Raes Style Group, author of the book Style Rx: Dressing the Body You Have to Create the Body You Want and a sought-after spokesperson, style expert and writer for many media outlets including CNN, Good Morning America and Real Simple Magazine. She and her Style Consultants are available worldwide for consultation, in-person or virtually.

This post is a copy of her blog post http://blog.bridgetteraes.com/2011/08/02/helen-mirren-voted-body-of-the-year-meanwhile-designers-using-13-year-olds-in-ad-campaigns/

For a few weeks now I’ve been doing some research on dating in your forties and what I’ve seen can be very discouraging. There are rants about it on Craigs List and negativity about it abounds. I just don’t get it. It must be that those who find love and happiness after forty don’t run around posting about it on the internet. Although, quite a few of the Love Stories that I’ve posted on this blog were about people in their late thirties and forties.

Yes, it’s absolutely true that you can find love even after forty. I honestly don’t think it’s any more difficult than finding love at any other age. Maybe it’s that too many people are set in their ways or locked into certain behaviors and preferences so it’s more difficult for them to mesh with new people. I think the reality is that most of us actually grow more patient as we age and it’s just a noisy minority of people who write about their negative experiences with dating after forty.

Sure having kids can make it more difficult and seems to put more on the line when it comes to relationships. Most responsible parents want to protect their children from heart-break and feelings of abandonment in the event that the relationship doesn’t work out. There are those times when you bring someone around that you’re casually dating and the kids seem to bond with them more than you do and it’s probably a good idea to try to avoid that. Also, as a parent you have less time to go out on dates. You can’t just agree to a Friday night date on the spot because you need to work out a sitter or attend your kid’s soccer game.

How do you get around these kinds of things? Well, you can start by joining an online dating site and getting to know people online before you get to know them in person. Using the telephone and email is a lot easier for those of us with limited time and the need to protect our children’s hearts. At FortiesLove.com you can also use the Virtual Dating feature to have a few dates online before you even talk on the phone. It’s easy to sit down at your computer while the kids are in bed or out doing whatever it is kids do and get to know perspective dates without any hassle. There’s also Mobile Dating available there so you can search or interact with singles while you’re on the go.

While you’re meeting perspective dates in the virtual realm you can find out what a person is about and what it is they are looking for. You can get to know them in a totally relaxed environment without the nerves of a real first date. Then if you decide you do like them, your first in person date will go much more smoothly because you already know the person you’re going out with.

Okay, now that we’ve covered how to meet other singles, we’ll discuss something else I came across in my research. I found that a lot of men complain that women in their forties are too motherly for them. They want a woman who is mature but still able to cut loose and have fun. This is another complaint that I just don’t get. I am 42 years old and most of my friends are either in their forties or they’re pushing it hard. Not a single one of us is “motherly” to people other than our own children. We still have a sense of fun and like to laugh and be silly. I’m always telling people that I’m 42 going on fourteen and it’s true! Well on second thought, I do have a couple of friends that take life too seriously but ya know what? They ALWAYS did that. Maybe you guys are just meeting those kinds of women. Come on, we all know those people who are just too serious. It’s not even just women, there are lots of men like that too and it has to do more with personality than age.

So if you meet someone online who just seems too serious for you just move on to the next one. It’s a lot easier than going out on an actual date. There will be no awkward moment at the end of your virtual date where you’re worried they will try to kiss you or expect you to kiss them and there won’t be any screening of your calls for the next week or two. That goes for every complaint you can come up with. If someone is not a good match for you then move on and find someone who is. People these days seem to think that finding a romantic partner should be like buying peanut butter. There are way more choices out there than creamy or chunky so keep looking until you find the one that works for you!

If you’re in your forties and read this and realized that you’ve become too serious, lighten up and have some fun! Plan dates that will bring out your fun side. Go rent bikes or go roller skating. Go to an amusement park or go out dancing. Dating should be fun so you can truly relax and get to know each other in your natural, relaxed, state. Going out to dinner is fine too but why not save that for another date? I have always hated eating on a first date. I feel so on the spot and self-conscious and that is NOT a natural state for me! What is a natural state for me is dripping salsa or something greasy across my lap and chest while I’m nervously eating. Yes, I am a clutz and it’s much more enjoyable to fall on my butt roller skating than it is to spend the rest of my date with a big stain on my shirt. Stop being so worried about acting foolish and remember, you’re in your forties not your seventies. You’re still young enough to go out and play in the sunshine.

If you are one of those serious people don’t feel bad. It’s just who you are and there are other serious people out there for you. Heck you may even find a silly person that you click with. I’m a life long silly person who’s been married to a serious man for 11 years now! It’s just a matter of knowing what you want or being open to people who are different than you are. Love is a complex emotion based on many different factors. It’s down right unexplainable really. Just get out there and keep looking until you find the one that makes your heart go pitter patter. If you’re relaxed and patient (as I know all you old farts can be) you will find it…. Yeah, that’s right. I called you an old fart. What are you going to do about it, huh? Nothing, because I’ve already skated away… Neener, neener, neener!

A note about FortiesLove.com, It can be used for finding people of any age. You can choose to set it for any age group 18 and up so if you’re in your forties and are open to dating younger or older people you will not be limited to people in their forties. Also, if you’ve packed on some poundage as you’ve gotten older there’s also CurvyLove.com and that’s full of people looking for women with big curves.

Crap I can’t make up: red flags to on-line dating

Ladies, take a deep breath. I’m about to let you in on a little secret. The hottie with the user name CupidCasanova in NYC – DOES NOT EXIST. I know, at first glance, your self-esteem likely sky rocketed when the message popped up: “he’s interested!” You’ve been misled. One of two things is probably happening: 1, his greasy sausage fingers are mousing over your image while he touches himself inappropriately or 2, he is a desperate, 60-year-old agoraphobic playing a big, fat joke on single ladies across America.

Drunk & Dating

Another red flag in online dating is the guy who showcases his drinking agility in 10 out of 12 profile pictures. The threshold to his dating interests stop at beer bongs, night clubs, and the probability of getting laid. Sure, it’s nice to know that he has fun with friends and can hold-down a 1.25 liter of Smirnoff, but is vomiting nightly and waking up with your underwear on backwards the way you want to spend your single days? Oh, another clue, this moderate drinker’s favorite pastimes include the gym, hangin’ at a local cigar shop and several 3-day trips to Las Vegas.

Red flag number 3: the man who gets carried away in the “I’m looking for” segment. Recently, I read an actual profile that stated the following:

[ I want a woman who can multitask, a BFF that to confide in & let my guard down totally with. 2. I want a mother to take care of me... 3. I want a seductress or tramp depending on the mood. I want to be wanted & not have to ask for it. 4. Finally, I want a devoted secretary that is there to help whatever the situation & can do it without losing respect in me. I could go on & on like this for pages. What do I pray for? I want a woman who will love me, for who I am.]

He started off on the right track, but then it all went terribly wrong. Did he really use the word secretary? Good luck with that!

Just keepin’ it real,

XXOO Dishy

If you need more tips on how to put up a profile that stands out and brands you online in a positive way  you can contact me at this link TalktoLiz I can help you get your love life on track and put your best foot forward while dating online.

Most women are NOT turned on by a man, in a wife beater t-shirt, holding a string of trout while leaning against a muscle car. While this might be a great way to display your accomplishments, this images does not cause a woman to say “I want me some of THAT.”

Another profile picture don’t is the blacked-out face of an old girlfriend. You know, the prom-like position with a well dressed blond and the online-would be-dater looking happy as clams. Only the blond no longer has a FACE and you are obviously not together anymore. Please, find a photo where you are the main attraction, not the face-less ex.

The murky grey, elementary school background. I’m amazed how many men (and I assume women) post a mystery photo from years gone by – the school cafeteria pose, sitting slightly sideways; chin tilted – is it 1971, 1984, 1993? It’s anyone’s guess. I give props to those who find the most obscure photo imaginable, but the braces and mullet completely throw me off.

A tricked-out photo: are those really six-pack abs? The naked truth about the naked torso is that, yes, we can see that you workout, but wouldn’t it be better to let us discover that on our own? Bottom line, it’s either an old photo from college or the shaded muscle definition has been added for effect.

The sultry-over-the-sunglasses-gaze. Unless you’re Patrick Dempsey, don’t attempt it. You just look ridiculous.

And for Pete’s sake, DON’T take a photo of yourself in the mirror.

Here are a few other quick thoughts:
■Don’t be embarrassed to have a friend or sibling take the photos of you. Its way less embarrassing than having one of the above don’ts out there.
■Find life-style photos where you, and only you, are the main attraction.
■Choose close-up, well-defined photos. (Taking a teeny-tiny photo and enlarging it will result in grainy, out-of-focus pictures.)
■Don’t post photos more than 5 years old.
■Post photos doing what you do best; cooking, sports, gardening, skiing, etc.

Just remember, you are the star attraction, not your abs, retro Miami-Vice clothing or bedroom eyes (Well, sometimes the eyes might work). Let me end by saying, the only thing worse than a bad photo is not posting a photo at all.

- XXOO

Dishy Divorcee

Related Blogs

Women tend to name romantic regrets almost twice as often as men and feel they are most responsible when a romantic opportunity is lost. Psychologists have found women are raised in the US to believe that maintaining a relationship is their role in life and are  more likely to blame themselves when something goes wrong in a relationship.

Are you afraid to take a chance on love? Stop letting fear keep you down. Take a chance and tell that certain someone how you feel. What’s the worst thing that can happen? They don’t feel the same way as you do? So what, at least you will know that the feelings you have are a waste of time and you can move forward.

Regret can be a powerful tool if used correctly. We can learn from the things that we regret not doing. We can take a chance and get out there and try  to find love and stop pinning for the one we can’t have or the one we let get away.  Take a chance and try something new. You’ll REGRET it if you don’t.

Stop Waiting Start Dating~

If You are ready to try something new and move on..Why Not try online dating sites. Millions of singles meet on the internet and begin a new relationship. For a list of my Favorite niche sites you can follow this post link  The Dating Sites We Love These are some of my most popular sites but there are many more. Stop regret taking those chances. Put yourself out there and try again!

Related Blogs

There are certain things I loved at 10 that I continue to embrace as an over 40. Here are five of them:

1. A pony tail-
Even though I am probably too darn old to be wearing a pony tail, it’s a hard habit to break. When I have a bad hair day or Ma Nature is not being cooperative, I turn to my old friend, pony. Simple, yet very effective.

2. Chewing gum-
I know it’s not the most dainty or professional looking. Sometimes when I’m on a long car trip, or craving something sweet, I love some good old Double Bubble or those large sour gumballs. I am guilty of blowing some monstrous bubbles while deep in thought. Worry not, I don’t go to a cocktail party cracking my Wrigley’s. I do know better.

3. Crazy facial expressions-
I have a very animated face. When I was in college (100 years ago) a photography student took pictures of all my crazy facial expressions for his senior project and it was showcased. One beauty was even selected for the cover of our college newspaper. I can’t imagine I had any guys chasing me down for my phone number that month. Even in adulthood someone will make a comment about the faces I make. It’s been part of me for so long that I don’t even realize that I do it.

4. Reading magazines-
Man, I loved Seventeen Magazine. I wanted to be Brooke Shields in the biggest way. Occasionally,you could even catch me flipping through a GQ. I actually had my wall plastered with supermodels until Billy Idol came along. Nowadays, a magazine works wonders for me on a long flight. Of course I enjoy a good book, but sometimes I just want a magazine to pour over.

5. Laughing til my side aches-
There is truly nothing better than uncontrollable laughter. Well, perhaps if it’s at an inappropriate time or place it’s not so funny. Yeah, that’s happened. Sometimes late at night when I am way to tired to act like a functioning adult, the silliest thing will set me off and I cannot get control. I’ll just finally calm down and then off I go again. I wonder if this counts as exercise.

What childish behavior did you carry over to adulthood? I’d love to hear about it! “With a rebel yell, she cried more, more, more!” Thanks for reading. Bye for now….

Trying to have a personal life while balancing a job, your children, and dealing with an ex is tough enough. Throw in dating and it can seem over whelming to say the least. You have enough to worry about without trying to add something else to do right? Okay where can you even go to look for other singles with a busy life like that if you had the time? Single Parent Dating Sites is the Answer.

Many single parent are joining dating sites designed for Single parents. What makes this a good idea? First the people who are on the site are single parents also so they understand what it’s like to be you and online dating is so flexible. You communicate when you have time with people who know up front that you have a child so there is “bomb” to drop about having children.

Searching online for dating for a single parent can also help keep the children out of the date until you are sure this person is someone who you would like your children to meet. The dating is done through messaging and text until you know if this is someone who you are really interested in or not.

How to Find a great Single Parent Dating Sites

Tangowire dating site has  single parent dating sites built in a niche with site features that are great for single parents interested in getting back into the dating scene. Virtual Dating is a hot new trend in online dating and can be done when you have the time to set it up. No need for a babysitter. Just arrange a time and you  can go on a virtual date in a romantic setting and never leave home. How cool is that? Go Mobile is another awesome site feature that makes dating for busy single parents easier. You can date from your mobile phone while still keeping your cell number anonymous until you are ready to exchange your number with a new person.

Recommended Single Parent Dating Site

Single Parent Dating is made with the single parent in mind. You can mix and mingle with other single parents and managing dating within your busy life style. Many of the site features are free to use and the price is right for a single with a tight budget. Sign up for free today and you can reply to premium members that contact you. Not many sites will let you do that. Replies to paying members are free. How nice is that? Stop waiting til you have more time. You will never have more time as a single parent. You have options that you can make work for you. You deserve some Me Time and to find love again. There a lots if single parent dating sites out there but this one is a cut above.

Stop Waiting Start Dating.

If you would like Help setting up your profile or learning about how to use a dating site you should click on Talk-to-Liz

I am often asked by people if Online Dating is safe.  I don’t blame people for being unsure about it because we hear stories and see things in the Media about some poor woman who was attacked or killed when she met a man from the internet.  The Media just loves a good Horror Story. That is how they make their living after all. If they keep us good and scared of “Online Stalkers and Predators”  we’re more likely to stay tuned so they can keep us safe.

My take on it is that for every one tragedy that comes from meeting someone online there is at least 1000 tragedies that happen when a woman meets a man at a bar, a dance club or any where for that matter. You see, when you meet someone online it’s okay to be cautious. It’s perfectly acceptable to get their name and address so you can leave it with your friend or maybe your mother.  Also, anyone smart will have spoken to each other on the phone quite a few times before deciding to meet.

Think about it.  When you meet someone online there is already a trail that can be followed in the event that something happens or you disappear.  The police will simply track the IP address from any emails or subpoena the dating site for any information they have.  If you are using a Dating Site that you both pay for there will also be credit card information that leads back to them.

To be honest I’m a cautious person myself. I don’t think I’d be out there using Craig’s List to meet people because I really would rather meet someone serious and grown up enough to use a real Dating Site.  However, should you choose that route for yourself you can still be safe.  Just get the person’s phone number and talk to them for a week or two before you decide to meet.  That way you know it’s probably not a stolen phone because it most likely would have been turned off within that amount of time.

When my friend Jayme met her husband Dave she even had his work number and had spoken to him at his office so she knew he was really who he said he was.  She was cautious and smart so she also told him outright that she had given a few of her friends his phone numbers as a safety net.  That is an excellent idea because we should never assume that a  killer or criminal is smart enough to realize that they would be easily caught.

If you just use caution and common sense you can make your Online Dating experience a very safe and secure adventure.  Of course I can’t guarantee you that there is nothing to fear. I mean there is always the possibility that you will have spinach in your teeth throughout all three courses. I’m sorry but you’re on your own when it comes to the really scary stuff.

She met her Husband online and they are still happily married. I spent a week on a cruise with this lovely loving couple. They are darling. It can happen for you too. Online dating can be safe if done wisely just like offline dating. Stop Wating Start Dating!!!

I used to be really cute, like Jennifer Aniston mid-“Friends” cute. But my cute-quotient has modified with age. I have fallen victim to the 40 & over syndrome. I reached four decades this last February. Don’t get me wrong, I’ve held up pretty well, but suddenly beauty secrets for +40 women have batter-rammed their way into my daily life. More Magazine has replaced Glamour and Cosmo on my coffee table. Lately, I find myself distracted by female celebrities that have withstood the test of time (I’m 90% certain Halle Berry and Cindy Crawford are not of this universe). My ears perk to the sounds of: cellulite firming, eye lifting, wrinkle reducing, and ageless skin. Granted, this is exactly what the marketers want and I, well, I am simply putty in their hands. Over the last few weeks, I have purchased three exercise programs; Jillian Michael’s 30 Day Shred, Zumba and the 6 Week Body Makeover.

1.The 6-Week Body Makeover has yet to arrive. I’m on pins and needles with this one due to a self-imposed 4 week goal to get in the best shape of my life.

2.Jillian Michael’s video is still in plastic. Sorry, Jillian, but you scare the crap out of me. It had to have been some sort of voo-doo hypnosis that forced my hand to purchase your exercise video from Target.

3.Zumba has defeated me. I haven’t successfully passed “the basics”; due to the FIFTY dance steps I’m required to learn. In the meantime, crunches reign – from celery crunches to stomach crunches – all in an effort to bring back my batta-bing.

Since divorcing, I’ve read several self-help books including; How to Heal a Broken Heart in 30 Days. According to the author, I need to be physically and emotionally confident to move on. I should be able to look in the mirror and say, “I’m hot, I’m sassy and damn it, I’m worth it!” Bottom line, self improvement is and always will be a work in progress.

I’ll keep you posted. XXOO

- The Dishy Divorcee

40 And Dating

to Being 40…….

Fortylicious.ca

Now, where do I start? Maybe from the beginning. I LOVED the single life –going out and partying with not a care in the world and no one to report to. Then hubby came along and things changed.

I actually enjoyed going out with him, sharing my good times and bad times with him and knowing I had someone to come home to – my new best friend. Now let’s fast forward to KIDS. Was I ready for kids – NO! I wanted to continue my travels and go out without having crying children I knew I had to come home to.

Things must’ve changed when I turned 32 because then I REALLY wanted a child! Had the one and then thought “THIS IS WHAT I’VE BEEN MISSING?!” so, I went ahead and had another one. I felt great and a new sort of happy that came with these little people in our household. Feelings I couldn’t even express.

Fast forward again – it was when I turned 40 that a self realization struck – I still thought I looked good, and I was definitely feeling better now that the kids FINALLY slept through the night, so it was time to get out there and have some fun!

This feeling was further justified when I would go to the school yard and heard fathers and mothers a like saying how they wanted to run a marathon now that they had the time to train, or go away “without” the kids for a weekend. They were talking about movies they wanted to see, restaurants they wanted to go to and various projects they wanted to start now that their kids were more independent. So “DO IT” I thought to myself. Well, I took that thought one step further.

If they were just going to “talk” about it, I was actually going to do it and maybe motivate some people along the way. Don’t get me wrong – I am not saying my kids don’t need my attention anymore, (which I’m kind of happy about), but they need less of it and my husband is more comfortable being left alone with them.

I thought turning 40 could go two ways: 1. I could be upset that I was now aging and not having kids anymore, in fact, moving on to the “second half” of my life per se OR 2. I could embrace it and celebrate it. Turning 40 is a great time in your life – one is still healthy and able to do a lot of physical activities. It’s a great time to take up a hobby or make a change in your career, as you are still young and have the time to do so. I am so happy I went with option number 2, because now I look at being 40 in a whole new light.

I make a point of working out 4 times a week – I even tried running, however that didn’t really pan out. My husband and I have done a couple of weekend trips including Vegas when I turned 40 – LOVED THAT ONE! Speaking of which, it’s time to get “romantic” again with the hubby and maybe throw in a “date night” here and there. My parents take the kids every Monday night, which gives us time to ourselves – usually that involves a little “wachickawawa” in the bedroom, followed by a nice walk and then either dinner at home or in the hood. It really has brought us back together as a couple instead of just a “mom and dad”.

I am also thankful for a great group of girlfriends that I can get together with and have fun, whether it be going to a movie, shopping, to a restaurant or bar – even had a couple of “girls” weekends which were quite memorable indeed. But that’s another story!

I find when I am happy everyone else is happy too. So, the moral of this blog is not to dread turning 40 and if you’re there already – embrace it because it is a special time in your life that won’t be coming around again!!

For further inspiration and your opportunity to meet some wonderful people who have chosen option 2 – please join us at www.fortylicious.ca

Now go get your 40’s on!!

Heather
http://www.fortylicious.ca/blog/

Then there is no place else you should be on Sunday, June 12th at 8:00 p.m. CST.

We’re sitting down for another chat with DatingDivaSites.com. Our resident “Dating Diva” will spill and dish on the key elements of making online dating site work for you, and she should know, she works and has worked with more than 20 sites–this means she’s an expert. In addition to making it work, she’s going to teach you a bit about online safety–after all, we want you to be single and safe.

Ok, so now you have the details…so register and tell a few friends!

So, here we go again, and if you missed Volume I: Where Ya At, don’t make the same mistake TWICE!

In the meanwhile, visit:

www.whatthelove.org and www.datingdivasites.com
AND to submit a question prior to the event, click Contact WTL on the WhatTheLove.org site.

ALL TIMES CENTRAL STANDARD TIME.

**This event will be recorded, and made available to all registrants (sometimes people register, but don’t make the call. It will not be available for public download.***

To register follow the link http://computerlovin.eventbrite.com/

Related Blogs

Interracial Dating In America

American are dating people of other races and ethnic groups more than ever.Interracial dating has become commin place in the melting pot of America. Dating someone who is so different from you can be very exciting and add new experiences in your life. When you go out people tend to notice and take note of you. If you want to date outside of your race and culture interracial dating sites can lend you a hand in finding singles that are open to just that experience.

If you are a singles and would like to date outside of your own ethnic group can you find a place online to do it? You can if you look to niche dating. Niche dating is a term used in the online dating industry used to define specialty dating. Say you like interracial dating, then you would need to find a dating site that caters to that need. They exist by the thousands and they are the best place to find people who are interested in interracial dating, sites like IvoryandEbonylove.com an interracial dating site for black and white singles looking for dating and relationships online.

FindingAsianDates.com is an Asian dating site for Asian Singles and people interested in dating Asian singles. This is NOT an Asian bride site but a site for dating and meeting Asian singles from The US to all parts of the world where they might live. This site was design for Asian singles to meet each other and singles that admire them and their culture.

Hispanic singles can join a site that caters to their race and culture and the people who are attracted to them as well. LatinoDatingNow.com is a Latin dating site for Latina singles and their admirers. This sites as well as the other mentioned in this article are free to join and has thousands of singles online and ready to mix and mingle online.

Join an Interracial Dating Site that caters

interracial dating sites, ethnic dating, latino dating

Online Dating Sites

Online dating sites can be joined for free for the most part. You can join almost any site and put up a profile and be listed on that site. There is a catch though. Many sites will not allow free member to respond to e-mails from other members. Even if that member is a paying member. I had no idea. The flip side~ You could be a paying member on this site and try to communicate with a free member and guess what? The member can't reply back. Free does always mean much but I know a place where you can go and get the best of both worlds.

The Dating sites that are reviewed here are from a trust company that has been around for a while. Tangowire Dating is an integrated system of niche dating sites with over 70 niches. The staff at this company is outstanding and prides itself on friendly fast service. They care about your satisfaction and want you to have a good experience at their sites. After 7 seven years promoting their sites I can tell you they care about this company and their members. All of these sites are free to join and guess what else? They are free to reply to paying members. That's right. If a paying member contacts you, you can talk all you want to that member for free. A list of my favorites and Most popular are :

Free Online Dating Sites

Big-Beautiful-Dates.com is a BBW dating site for single big beautiful women and the men who adore them. Curves are in and this place worships them.

BlackBeautyDates.com Is the place for beautiful black single men and women to mingle. Online Dating in a community made just for black singles to find love and romance.

ContemporaryDates.com is a dating community for modern singles looking for love online in a site that has all the features a modern single would enjoy in an online dating community to chat and meet new people for dating and relationships.

FindingAsianDates.com beautiful Asian singles dating community for meeting other Asian singles and the singles that admire them.

FindingMilitaryDates.com if you are affiliated with the military and are singles and looking then this community is for you. The site features like Go Mobile and virtual dating help men and women in the military date online while still in the field.

FireFighterPolice.com this is another great site for single firefighters and single police officers. If you love a single in uniform this site is a must see.

GayDatingNow.Net is one of many  Online dating sites for gay singles looking for love online. Join for Free and see how much fun Online Dating Sites can be.

IvoryandEbonyLove.com Interracial Dating for black and white singles in an online dating community for finding love and romance. Dating For Singles interested in interracial relationships.

LatinoDatingNow.com A dating community for beautiful Latin singles and the people who adore them. Find a beautiful Latin lover today when you sign up for free.

LesbianLoversandFriends.com lesbian singles and bisexual women can find love,friendships, and relationships in an online dating community made just for women.

Sometimes free doesn't mean a thing but with Tangowire you can get a lot for a little. Try one of these Online Dating Sites and see what a difference free on a quality site is like.

Black singles can find online dating at a trusted site that’s been around since the beginning of the online dating industry start-up at BlackBeautyDates.com . Being a part of the Tangowire system of dating sites BlackBeautyDates.com is part of a trusted dating company that works hard for its members. This site has been around and has all the latest and greatest upgrades in online dating technology. Go Mobile is just one of the great site features black singles can use to search for dating on this site. You can use your mobile phone to communicate on the site while still keeping your number private. Virtual dating is another fun perk of this site designed especially for black singles. You can interact with other singles in a virtual date setting for a new way to meet and date.Local search for black singles is part of the site design. Just chose an area and search the profiles by gender and preferences. BlackBeautyDates has free sign up. Just go to the homepage, pick a handle, and you will be up and dating in 10 minutes. Fast,Free, and modern dating for black singles is what this site is about.

Black Dating In The Uk

UK.BlackBeautyDates.com Is a black dating site for UK singles interested in online dating at a great site designed for black singles. Lesbian.EbonyDatingNow.com is for black lesbian women and their admirer looking to date in a very tight niche with their admirers. We have specialty dating for black singles dating and  looking for love and relationships using dating sites. sign-up and start your adventures in dating today. We would also like to hear how you like it. We believe you can finf the black dating website that will give you great service and put you in a friendly community where the singles are intersted in dating black singles.

A New Feature..You can sign up for any of theses black dating sites using FaceBook Or Twitter. If you would like to keep the account seperate from these you can just use an e-mail address. Simple!!

Uniform singles are so sexy. A firefighter,police officer, or a military man, just make a woman’s heart race.  If you are interested in meeting uniform singles, do you know where to look? The same place you found this blog. The Internet is full of dating sites for uniform singles and their admirers. Here are My all time favorites.

Uniform Singles Sites

FindingMilitaryDates.com  and military singles are a match made in cyber heaven. Millions of members and growing, finding a perfect match is a few clicks away. FindingMilitaryDates is part of Tangowire trusted network of integrated sites giving members access to tons of great features and profiles of singles from around the globe. This site is secure and built with the privacy of its members in mind. No one will be able to spam you or have access to your private information. Find a Uniform Single with us today.

Finding Military Dates has an advanced search criteria allowing members to search by age,place,and type of relationship. Helping narrow the search effort makes browsing profiles a snap. With 70 niche sites Tangowire has a variety of members with a range of interest to help guide you to a single with a lot in common with you. Just sign up for free. You heard me I said free. Try this site if you are a military single or just adore them .

FirefighterPolice.com  is also a great singles dating site for firefighter singles and police officer singles. Part of the same great dating system this site is a winner too. All those features we mentioned before makes dating on the go great for Firefighter and Police Officers. More Dating for Uniform Singles and their admirers.

My Goal is to help you find the perfect dating niche to increase your odds of finding a match that’s right for you!

Liz,

DatingAndRelating, INC.

*All of these BBW dating sites are part of the Tangowire system  dating websites for plus sized singles and have the best site features in the industry making online dating fun and exciting. Sign up and stop waiting start dating local big beautiful singles.

What looks better with Black than White? They compliment each other and make the beauty of each more intense. The contrast is easy on the eyes. If you think opposites attract and are

Interracial Dating Sites

interested in interracial dating then you may really like  interracial dating sites. The buzz in online dating is that in traditional matchmaking sites people tend to date within their own race. This is where it would pay to find a site that caters to interracial dating. There are hundreds of sites that do just that. Now which one is best and has what you are looking for.
I have worked in the online dating industry almost from the very start. I found a great company with a staff that cared about me and the members I was sending  their way with Tangowire Dating Sites. Quality members,great sites, and a wonderful staff that is interested in making the people who use their sites happy with the service. This is where IvoryandEbonyLove.com  service and staff are delivered from.

Features include:

Interesting article about interracial dating and places that it seems taboo. How do you feel about interracial dating? Common answer found..It's okay for other people to do it but it's not for me. Study after study finds that even in 2011 most people date within their own culture and race. People have preconceived ideas about races and ethnic groups that tend to steer them away or towards a group. Do we still judge people based on race? The answer seems to be yes.

If you are a singles and would like to date outside of your own ethnic group can you find a place online to do it? You can if you look to niche dating. Niche dating is a term used in the online dating industry used to define specialty dating. Say you like interracial dating, then you would need to find a dating site that caters to that need. They exist by the thousands and they are the best place to find people who are interested in interracial dating, sites like IvoryandEbonylove.com an interracial dating site for black and white singles looking for dating and relationships online.

Asian Singles have their own struggles with racism and stereotypical ideas about their race. Some people are attracted to those ideal while other spurn Asian singles for them. The same problems face Asian singles when it comes to online dating and a solution is to go to a niche made for Asian single daters. FindingAsianDates.com is an Asian dating site for Asian Singles and people interested in dating Asian singles. This is NOT an Asian bride site but a site for dating and meeting Asian singles from The US to all parts of the world where they might live.

Latin singles are in the same boat when it comes to beliefs about their culture. Those ideas about them as a group are a plus for some and a complete turn off to others. Mainstream online dating sites pose a problem for them too. Often they are overlooked by daters because they have preconceived ideas about dating Latino singles. Niche dating comes to the rescue again. Hispanic singles can join a site that caters to their race and culture and the people who are attracted to them. LatinoDatingNow.com is a Latino dating site for Latin singles and their admirers.

In this day and age you would think that racism in dating would no longer exist. It does still exist according to studies in that people accept interracial couples but just aren't that open to dating outside their own ethnic group. Many things have changed as far as acceptance of interracial couples but there are still some old ideas hanging around too.

Article from IvoryandEbonyLove.blogspot.com

If I can help you in you online dating please follow the link and let's get you dating! DivaDatingandRelating

ET interviewed real men who adore plus-size women and found many man are attracted to the size and beauty of women that aren’t your typical skinny model type. The attitude and the personality of these women who love and accept themselves makes them very attractive to men. They also have those curves that men crave and aren’t afraid to show them. The men in this interview also admit that social pressure tend to make men worry about being judged for this attraction.

If you are a plus size woman or a man who is into curves you should try surfing Big-Beautiful-Dates.com. This is a dating community for big beautiful women and the men who adore a woman with a lot of curves. This is a BBW dating site from Tangowire integrated dating system with thousands of members and super site features that makes online dating an exciting adventure for BBW singles. Membership is free and with Go Mobile you can take dating to a whole new level. Great site with the latest technology for online dating fun.

If you would like a complete list of BBW Dating sites that we have go to the article

http://datingdivasites.com/2011/03/20/big-beautiful-dates-com-bbw-dating-with-go-mobile/ For local BBW Dating Sites.

Related Blogs

BBW Dating

We Knew but did you?

According to an online dating survey, Men find heavier women better in bed. If you are a BBW you knew that..;) and if you are into BBW dating , you knew that too. Men like a curvy woman and find them  more pleasant to spend time with  and more sexually attractive. (We knew that too) Women tend to have more hangups about their weight and body size than the men that want to date them according to the survey. BBW dating sites connect you to the curvy girls that know they are beautiful just the curvy size they are and the men that adore those big beautiful women.

BBW Dating Sites

If you love a beautiful woman with some curves we know a great place to meet them. Big-Beautiful-Dates.com has sexy curvy woman from the US to all corners of the World. Sign up for free and search our members and see all our Beautiful Curvy Women and  all the great site features that makes this online community so special. Find your Big Beautiful Date with us.

Great Features

• Free To Join
• Free to search
• Free to respond to e-mail
• Go_mobile
• Virtual Dating

Find Local BBW Dating @ 4romanceonline.com/bbw_dating.html 

You can join a local BBW dating site if you want to focus your online dating to your area. Just go to the link above and look through the list of Local BBW dating sites that are offered. You can still open your site to all BBW  in our database as they are connected or stay with in you area you join to find a match. Some of my happiest clients over the years have come from my BBW members. With a data base of over 3 million singles intersted in dating we can help you connect with someone in our BBW dating sites and get out there and start dating.

Liz Maness

CEO

DatingandRelating.org

Free Help to get you started with BBW Dating Sites

If You need to set up a free meeting with me via phone or video chat to help you get started go my Link for your free consultation.

From the Blog BBWDatingNow.org

Bitterness can blind you if you let it . It can make you lose the ability to see someone delightful because you are too busy looking for the flaws. Disillusionment can turn you into an angry old spinster of a character. Rather certain Mr Right would be frightened off by her too. Maybe Mr Wonderful needs you to sit in his lap and tell him what it is you want and believe that he wants you to have it. You may wake up and find everything you had wished for right before your eyes. If you can still believe that Mr Right exists like you believed that Santa Claus did when you were a child.

Story inspired by..tweeting with @Lady_Kajukenbo a woman who still believes..

 GayDatingNow.net  is a gay dating site made for gay singles looking for relationships online.They have a huge data base of members and cool new site features that makes online dating exciting and fun. Go Mobile makes dating online easy as flipping out your cell phone and flirting with new friends or dates. Your number remains private until you are ready to share.

 Lesbian.EbonyDatingNow.com for black lesbians and their admirers. Narrowing your lesbian and gay dating search even more. This is a specialty site for black lesbian women looking for specific dating search. 

BisexualDatingNow.com is an online dating website for bi and gay singles and  still from Tangowire with all the whistles and bells of the other sites. A great place for bisexual singles to meet and date with like mind people. Tangowire really has something for everyone. Niche dating is their specialty and with over 70 different specialty dating sites there's something for everyone. All you need to do is pick.

That's where I'll ge glad to help you. If you are having trouble deciding which site would best cater to your needs I'll be happy to answer question or just take a look at your profile and give you a suggestion or two to help you market your best self to suitors. My e-mail address is Liz@datingdivasites.com. Just send me a note and I will be delighted to see what I can do to make our site work for you.

 Niche dating sites are for people looking for a very specific dating preference. There are so many that are race specific that an online dater of an ethnic group would be better off joining. If interracial dating is your preference then joining an interracial dating site like IvoryandEbonylove.com would be a better choice for you than a general dating site. What if you are a black single that would like to meet another black single to date? There are tons of sites that cater to Black Singles like BlackBeautyDates.com. This site is for Black Singles looking for online dating and looking for other single black men and women to date. Asian singles can find a haven for dating for Asian singles in a site made just for them like FindingAsianDates.com. If your interest is in dating an Asian single then this site is where you would have more matches. LatinoDatingNow.com is a site just for Latin singles and people who want to  date Hispanic singles. The perfect site for latin specialty dating.

 If you want to break through the racial divide within the online dating world niche dating is the answer. Niche dating sites are not new or rare and These Tangowire dating sites have been around for many years. In fact, Tangowire has been specializing in niche dating from the start. They have 70 niche areas of dating for singles to join. The big names in dating have tons of members but if you have a special need these sites are where you should go. You can find what you want at a site like these and they are heavily populated . Find a haven for the special dating you seek and the chances of you finding what you need goes up. It just make sense to go to a place where singles that are seeking the same thing as you.